Something good that happened last week:
I hardly ever, well almost never really, get to do the girly meeting up for coffee/lunch/going shopping sort of thing basically because it's too much hassle - asking someone if they want to meet me for coffee or lunch is asking them to pick me up, load the wheelchair in their car, drive me to wherever, unload the wheelchair, unload me, push me in and order/carry my food and drink. As well as this I didn't make many friends among the other mums because I was only able to go into the playground occasionally and that was in a wheelchair which doesn't encourage socialisation.
Since the leg business it's all been even more hassle - my social life is basically hospital, church and coffee morning at old church. I can't manage to get to the housegroup as the house is up a slope, up a step through a door tun left amd through another door. Anyway two of the women from the group suggested we meet up for coffee at a local golf and health club restaurant which is open to the public. P dropped me off and pushed me in and picked me up an hour later. It was lovely, it really was. And very kind of them.
Friday 23 October 2015
The new brace doesn't work out
Well the new knee brace arrived. It was a bit hard to get it on - P had to pull it up for me. It seemed really comfortable - at first. Then bit by bit the pain started, rapidly increasing to extreme pain. "Help me get this off" I yelled to P who thankfully was still at home.
There is a ring which goes round the kneecap leaving the kneecap itself open. Where the top part of the ring had been was bright red and the pain was bad. Really bad. And it went on being bad and when P had gone out to I had a sort of frustrated outburst and then just sat and cried because I'd wanted the brace to take the pain away and for me to be able to walk a little bit again and all that had happened was it had got worse.
"I do trust you but I don't understand," I sobbed to God.
The phone rang - it was one of our pastors calling to ask how I was. I admitted that I wasn't really all that ok and she prayed down the phone.
It just felt like God had got her to phone. It felt like He cared.
Yesterday the pain was still really bad and I stayed in bed most of the day and took painkillers and wore my original leg brace all night. This morning the pain was definitely less. I think the knee just needs a bit of rest.
There is a ring which goes round the kneecap leaving the kneecap itself open. Where the top part of the ring had been was bright red and the pain was bad. Really bad. And it went on being bad and when P had gone out to I had a sort of frustrated outburst and then just sat and cried because I'd wanted the brace to take the pain away and for me to be able to walk a little bit again and all that had happened was it had got worse.
"I do trust you but I don't understand," I sobbed to God.
The phone rang - it was one of our pastors calling to ask how I was. I admitted that I wasn't really all that ok and she prayed down the phone.
It just felt like God had got her to phone. It felt like He cared.
Yesterday the pain was still really bad and I stayed in bed most of the day and took painkillers and wore my original leg brace all night. This morning the pain was definitely less. I think the knee just needs a bit of rest.
Monday 19 October 2015
'I Want to Live These Days With You'
I'm sharing this - from a daily email devotional I get called 'Seeds of the Kingdom' because I found it really helpful the other day.
17 October, 2015
Today's Free Devotional from Ellel Ministries International
I Want to Live These Days With You
"Jesus promised, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.”"
John 16:22, NIV
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian, spoke out against Hitler’s dictatorship, his euthanasia programme and the Jewish holocaust. At the end of 1944 he was in the main prison of the Gestapo condemned to death by Adolf Hitler. It was while he was in circumstances beyond anything any of us have ever experienced that he wrote these words in a prayer to God, ‘I want to live these days with You’.
Bonhoeffer was finally transferred to the concentration camp Flossenburg, where he was put to death, four months before the US army liberated Flossenburg. Bonhoeffer is now famous for a book he wrote called ‘The Cost of Discipleship’.
Recently his words ‘I want to live these days with You’, came to my mind. The words have since become my daily prayer, “I want to live this day with you, whatever it may hold.” The words are the title of a daily reading book containing Bonhoeffer’s writings which I read several years ago and have picked up again. Shortly before he died he wrote to a friend, ‘Only the suffering God can help’. His eyes were fixed on that suffering God, his faith firmly rooted despite the horrors he faced.
For each of us, at some time or other, there is suffering on the path of life. We have our times of sunshine and of shadow; times of joy and of sorrow; times of turmoil and of rest; times of strength and of weakness; times of fulfilment and times of being set aside; times when we long for God’s presence and times when He’s closer than the closest friend. None of us will escape the times when, above all else, we need the comfort and abiding peace of the suffering God who comes alongside with His presence and His grace.
Living each day with our Lord is the way to inner stillness and peace of heart and mind. It is to rest in the peace Jesus promised to His disciples. Peace independent of circumstances; peace dependent upon the fulfilment of His promise. So if the road you're travelling just now is rough, don't give up. Remember you are not alone because He has promised He will never leave you nor forsake you. The rough road will come to an end and the lessons learned on it can become a way of life for the future.
It’s easy to look at the circumstances and difficulties we’re caught up in and see them as overwhelming. What God asks is that we look at Jesus, surrendering to Him and praying for His perfect will to be fulfilled, whatever that may be, and even if it's not what we would choose. We’re not victims of our circumstances, but children of a compassionate Father, whose love is infinite and unfailing.
It’s futile to want our way instead of surrendering to His perfect plan. When we trust God to do what He chooses, rather than try to work things out ourselves, inner turmoil is replaced by the stillness of knowing that He’s God and we’re safe with Him. We desperately need Him.
To live each day with Jesus is to live a day at at time. His name is ‘I am’. It’s not ‘I was’ or ‘I will be’. We have the promise of His presence; the presence of our Saviour, Lord and King, who is also our best and heavenly Friend. Thus we receive the gift of peace and peace, a fruit of the Spirit, which is worked in and through us - a deep abiding peace.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, please teach me to live each day with You, trusting You with all the days that will follow, whatever they may hold. Thank You for the peace Jesus promised - the peace which banishes fear. I receive that peace as a gift today, thanking You for Jesus, who’s made the way possible for me to know You intimately. Thank You that I’m not a victim of circumstances, but I’m secure in You. Amen.
Today's Writer : Margaret Silvester Margaret Silvester had a career as a teacher prior to being called into full time Christian Ministry with her husband, David, in 1986. They were involved in establishing a Healing Ministry in the local church and Margaret has a passion to see lost and wounded people found and restored. She and her husband joined the Ellel Ministries teaching and ministry team in 2000 after a clear call from God. Margaret`s book "Stepping Stones to the Father Heart of God" has recently been published.
Related Links Click here to read Peter Horrobin`s blog
Today's Free Devotional from Ellel Ministries International
I Want to Live These Days With You
"Jesus promised, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.”"
John 16:22, NIV
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian, spoke out against Hitler’s dictatorship, his euthanasia programme and the Jewish holocaust. At the end of 1944 he was in the main prison of the Gestapo condemned to death by Adolf Hitler. It was while he was in circumstances beyond anything any of us have ever experienced that he wrote these words in a prayer to God, ‘I want to live these days with You’.
Bonhoeffer was finally transferred to the concentration camp Flossenburg, where he was put to death, four months before the US army liberated Flossenburg. Bonhoeffer is now famous for a book he wrote called ‘The Cost of Discipleship’.
Recently his words ‘I want to live these days with You’, came to my mind. The words have since become my daily prayer, “I want to live this day with you, whatever it may hold.” The words are the title of a daily reading book containing Bonhoeffer’s writings which I read several years ago and have picked up again. Shortly before he died he wrote to a friend, ‘Only the suffering God can help’. His eyes were fixed on that suffering God, his faith firmly rooted despite the horrors he faced.
For each of us, at some time or other, there is suffering on the path of life. We have our times of sunshine and of shadow; times of joy and of sorrow; times of turmoil and of rest; times of strength and of weakness; times of fulfilment and times of being set aside; times when we long for God’s presence and times when He’s closer than the closest friend. None of us will escape the times when, above all else, we need the comfort and abiding peace of the suffering God who comes alongside with His presence and His grace.
Living each day with our Lord is the way to inner stillness and peace of heart and mind. It is to rest in the peace Jesus promised to His disciples. Peace independent of circumstances; peace dependent upon the fulfilment of His promise. So if the road you're travelling just now is rough, don't give up. Remember you are not alone because He has promised He will never leave you nor forsake you. The rough road will come to an end and the lessons learned on it can become a way of life for the future.
It’s easy to look at the circumstances and difficulties we’re caught up in and see them as overwhelming. What God asks is that we look at Jesus, surrendering to Him and praying for His perfect will to be fulfilled, whatever that may be, and even if it's not what we would choose. We’re not victims of our circumstances, but children of a compassionate Father, whose love is infinite and unfailing.
It’s futile to want our way instead of surrendering to His perfect plan. When we trust God to do what He chooses, rather than try to work things out ourselves, inner turmoil is replaced by the stillness of knowing that He’s God and we’re safe with Him. We desperately need Him.
To live each day with Jesus is to live a day at at time. His name is ‘I am’. It’s not ‘I was’ or ‘I will be’. We have the promise of His presence; the presence of our Saviour, Lord and King, who is also our best and heavenly Friend. Thus we receive the gift of peace and peace, a fruit of the Spirit, which is worked in and through us - a deep abiding peace.
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, please teach me to live each day with You, trusting You with all the days that will follow, whatever they may hold. Thank You for the peace Jesus promised - the peace which banishes fear. I receive that peace as a gift today, thanking You for Jesus, who’s made the way possible for me to know You intimately. Thank You that I’m not a victim of circumstances, but I’m secure in You. Amen.
Today's Writer : Margaret Silvester Margaret Silvester had a career as a teacher prior to being called into full time Christian Ministry with her husband, David, in 1986. They were involved in establishing a Healing Ministry in the local church and Margaret has a passion to see lost and wounded people found and restored. She and her husband joined the Ellel Ministries teaching and ministry team in 2000 after a clear call from God. Margaret`s book "Stepping Stones to the Father Heart of God" has recently been published.
Related Links Click here to read Peter Horrobin`s blog
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Physio and tears
The knee has been really troublesome over the last few days, so much so that I didn't make it to church yesterday. There has been a lot of leg elevating, ice packs, painkillers and a bit of a feeling of discouragement. Today was my physio appointment and I woke up feeling like I wasn't sure I could handle today - physically and emotionally I just wasn't in a good place but sometimes however you're feeling you just have to get on with it and P pushed me to the bathroom and left me there while he took J to school. I was just about washed and dressed when he got home an hour later and we set off for physio.
There was a disabled place available in hospital - yippee - unlike last time when spent half an hour cruising around before finding space up the road. I have a new physio because they do this thing where they rotate between different clinics, I'll call him Harry. Told him about all that's been happening although don't think we managed to convince him how much worse it's been feeling or how un-normal my muscles normally are. He said just because a movement causes pain doesn't necessarily mean it's causing damage which is reassuring isn't it? 'Nope' I thought. Anyway he did some gentle knee bending and massaged the place where my quads are meant to be. He said he could feel that there's movement in the knee joint so that's good and I need to do some bending every day even if it's only a bit and keep taking the painkillers.
My leg brace is heavy, klunky and uncomfortable partly, I think, because the designer didn't allow for the possibility of the wearer having bony ankles. The consultant said I can start taking it off which I do when I'm at home but the pain in my knee is noticeably worse and I can't manage to make any attempt at walking without the brace. I came across a blog called 'My Broken Knee Story' (cari-brokenknee.blogspot.com) and the author faced the same issue. She found a brace which fitted just over her knee which had adjustable hinges so the knee can be kept straight or allowed to bend as much as you want. The physio said it was ok to try it 'if it made me feel more secure' (does he mean physically or emotionally?). Anyway I've ordered one and just hope it will help. It seems a big jump to go from a great big leg brace to nothing. It's not all that cheap though.
The physio department is next to the 'stroke rehabilitation unit' and as we passed the sign it hit me that Mary didn't manage to rehabilitate from hers and I wasn't ever going to see her again. We stopped outside a computer repair shop and P took in one of the school (as in the one where he's governor) computers and I sat in the car and sobbed. Grief is a strange thing - it catches you unawares but one thing I've learnt in life is that if you need to cry it's better just to cry.
There was a disabled place available in hospital - yippee - unlike last time when spent half an hour cruising around before finding space up the road. I have a new physio because they do this thing where they rotate between different clinics, I'll call him Harry. Told him about all that's been happening although don't think we managed to convince him how much worse it's been feeling or how un-normal my muscles normally are. He said just because a movement causes pain doesn't necessarily mean it's causing damage which is reassuring isn't it? 'Nope' I thought. Anyway he did some gentle knee bending and massaged the place where my quads are meant to be. He said he could feel that there's movement in the knee joint so that's good and I need to do some bending every day even if it's only a bit and keep taking the painkillers.
My leg brace is heavy, klunky and uncomfortable partly, I think, because the designer didn't allow for the possibility of the wearer having bony ankles. The consultant said I can start taking it off which I do when I'm at home but the pain in my knee is noticeably worse and I can't manage to make any attempt at walking without the brace. I came across a blog called 'My Broken Knee Story' (cari-brokenknee.blogspot.com) and the author faced the same issue. She found a brace which fitted just over her knee which had adjustable hinges so the knee can be kept straight or allowed to bend as much as you want. The physio said it was ok to try it 'if it made me feel more secure' (does he mean physically or emotionally?). Anyway I've ordered one and just hope it will help. It seems a big jump to go from a great big leg brace to nothing. It's not all that cheap though.
The physio department is next to the 'stroke rehabilitation unit' and as we passed the sign it hit me that Mary didn't manage to rehabilitate from hers and I wasn't ever going to see her again. We stopped outside a computer repair shop and P took in one of the school (as in the one where he's governor) computers and I sat in the car and sobbed. Grief is a strange thing - it catches you unawares but one thing I've learnt in life is that if you need to cry it's better just to cry.
Mary moves on
My brother's mother in law, I'll call her Mary, passed away peacefully on Thursday night. My older niece had got the train home from uni and managed to get there in time to spend her last few hours with her. One of her grandsons was with her also as she went.
There is a lot to be thankful for - she had a long and very full life and she didn't suffer much pain or discomfort. Just before the stroke happened all her children and grandchildren were with her to celebrate her birthday. And she is now in a wonderful place.
There is a lot to be thankful for - she had a long and very full life and she didn't suffer much pain or discomfort. Just before the stroke happened all her children and grandchildren were with her to celebrate her birthday. And she is now in a wonderful place.
Thursday 15 October 2015
Two bits of sad news
Feeling sad.
My brother's mother in law, to whom we are quite close - she's been living with them for some of the time, had a stroke the day before her 90th birthday. She got her speech back pretty well but remained paralysed down one side and weak and tired and not able to feed herself very well. She was transferred to a nursing home and had actually started to pick up a bit recently but then got pneumonia and was moved back to hospital and put on antibiotics.
I just went on facebook and first read a message from a friend at church saying she had had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and then a message from my brother saying mother in law has been taken off antibiotics and is now having 'end of life care'.
One very long and very full life and one tiny little life hardly begun. Both very, very precious.
My brother's mother in law, to whom we are quite close - she's been living with them for some of the time, had a stroke the day before her 90th birthday. She got her speech back pretty well but remained paralysed down one side and weak and tired and not able to feed herself very well. She was transferred to a nursing home and had actually started to pick up a bit recently but then got pneumonia and was moved back to hospital and put on antibiotics.
I just went on facebook and first read a message from a friend at church saying she had had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and then a message from my brother saying mother in law has been taken off antibiotics and is now having 'end of life care'.
One very long and very full life and one tiny little life hardly begun. Both very, very precious.
Friday 9 October 2015
He's got an offer
J has had an off from a uni. Apparently they send out Maths offers very quickly. This is because they base them on predicted exam results and don't bother with personal statements or interviews. It's a very high offer but hopefully he can do it.
The Cambridge application process is tough, it really is.
Think we have to take attitude that the others are excellent unis. If he gets into Cambridge it will be really good but if he doesn't it's just fine. And trusting God that he'll end up in the place that's right for him.
The Cambridge application process is tough, it really is.
Think we have to take attitude that the others are excellent unis. If he gets into Cambridge it will be really good but if he doesn't it's just fine. And trusting God that he'll end up in the place that's right for him.
Knee setback
Having a bit of a setback with the knee as in has been painful, swollen and hot. Phoned physio and she said to rest it, elevate it and put ice on it. Apparently it can happen during rehab that knees become inflamed but as long as it's not red and swelling reduces with ice it's not serious. In the middle of the night I was trying to rearrange cushions to get knee comfortable and somehow banged my head on the wall. I just started crying in frustration - 'I'm just fed up with having things wrong with me' - pathetic or what?
This is just a blip, will get through it. Going to keep trusting God.
This is just a blip, will get through it. Going to keep trusting God.
Tuesday 6 October 2015
Bend knee bend
I don't manage to do much cooking but occasionally I manage a batch of brownies. The other day J said it was ages since I'd made any but when you're confined to a wheelchair with your leg sticking out it's not very easy. So on Saturday while P was out at a church leadership course I sat with the recipe book on my lap and J followed my instructions. It was actually a really nice time together and we did very well. Can't believe how quickly they disappeared. We had a few to have as dessert with ice-cream when my brother came to visit in the evening.
Next Saturday I think we'll do a sponge cake.
The bad thing that happened on Saturday was that in my eagerness to get my knee to bend I overdid the exercises and it's been hurting a lot. I've rested it for the last two days and started doing some gentle stretches today. I've had the brace off but wondering if I should put it back on for a while and then it would hurt less even though the brace is uncomfortable and squashes my leg a bit. I don't know. Getting this knee to bend is honestly one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Next Saturday I think we'll do a sponge cake.
The bad thing that happened on Saturday was that in my eagerness to get my knee to bend I overdid the exercises and it's been hurting a lot. I've rested it for the last two days and started doing some gentle stretches today. I've had the brace off but wondering if I should put it back on for a while and then it would hurt less even though the brace is uncomfortable and squashes my leg a bit. I don't know. Getting this knee to bend is honestly one of the hardest things I've ever done.
The beginning of the leaving process
Well the uni application has finally gone in. Now it's a question of playing the waiting game. J has had an acknowledgement from one uni which was nice of them. Even nicer would be an offer.
Have been feeling a bit stressed about it all - there was a bit of a muddle over which Maths modules he was doing, he wasn't happy about something in a reference and asked them to change it, don't know if they did and different teachers were giving different advice about personal statement and some of it I wasn't sure was right but then I don't know what constitutes a good personal statement anyway (didn't do them in my day) and I just felt maybe I'd failed him in some way if it wasn't good enough.
I think this ties in with the whole letting go thing which can be a challenge for us mums - I've spent so many years feeling responsible for protecting him and making life as good for him as I can but the time has come when I have to step back and let him get on with it and make his own decisions and that is hard.
J is looking forward to uni and at the moment anyway he has no problem about leaving home and that's really good. When he goes there will be a massive gap in my life but I think now, with a year still to go, I need to think about how I'll fill it and not be just sitting around moping. Yes I will cry when he goes (hopefully not in front of him) but it will also be a new chapter for all of us with exciting opportunities.
Anyway these days with texting and skype presumably you can keep in touch a lot more than back in the days when you had to save up 2ps for a call box which smelt like a public loo and hold the crusty receiver 9 inches from your mouth and yell 'Hello Mum' then realise you'd called in the middle of the Archers so no-one wanted to talk to you anyway.
Happy days.
Have been feeling a bit stressed about it all - there was a bit of a muddle over which Maths modules he was doing, he wasn't happy about something in a reference and asked them to change it, don't know if they did and different teachers were giving different advice about personal statement and some of it I wasn't sure was right but then I don't know what constitutes a good personal statement anyway (didn't do them in my day) and I just felt maybe I'd failed him in some way if it wasn't good enough.
I think this ties in with the whole letting go thing which can be a challenge for us mums - I've spent so many years feeling responsible for protecting him and making life as good for him as I can but the time has come when I have to step back and let him get on with it and make his own decisions and that is hard.
J is looking forward to uni and at the moment anyway he has no problem about leaving home and that's really good. When he goes there will be a massive gap in my life but I think now, with a year still to go, I need to think about how I'll fill it and not be just sitting around moping. Yes I will cry when he goes (hopefully not in front of him) but it will also be a new chapter for all of us with exciting opportunities.
Anyway these days with texting and skype presumably you can keep in touch a lot more than back in the days when you had to save up 2ps for a call box which smelt like a public loo and hold the crusty receiver 9 inches from your mouth and yell 'Hello Mum' then realise you'd called in the middle of the Archers so no-one wanted to talk to you anyway.
Happy days.
Thursday 1 October 2015
1111 posts
When opened blog today saw that I had 1111 posts. Spoilt it now, it'll be 1112.
Can 'walk' a little bit without brace now as in can get around bathroom a little bit on my feet which definitely improves my quality of life.
J's UCAS application about to happen. He saw Maths teacher yesterday who suggested some changes to Personal Statement. I thought he might spend the evening working on it but instead he went to the cinema to see The Martian. He got up at 5.30 this morning to finish it.
It'll be a big relief when it's sent in. Then just a question of waiting and trusting in God that he'll end up where he's meant to be.
Can 'walk' a little bit without brace now as in can get around bathroom a little bit on my feet which definitely improves my quality of life.
J's UCAS application about to happen. He saw Maths teacher yesterday who suggested some changes to Personal Statement. I thought he might spend the evening working on it but instead he went to the cinema to see The Martian. He got up at 5.30 this morning to finish it.
It'll be a big relief when it's sent in. Then just a question of waiting and trusting in God that he'll end up where he's meant to be.
Tuesday 29 September 2015
Got to 40 degrees
Here's my leg in the brace which I'm now wearing some of the time. (It actually has another strap and goes up to the top of my thigh) I can't 'walk' at all without it and like the extra support when out in the car or the wheelchair but when lounging around at home it comes off. My leg looks pretty weird when I take it off as it has bulges where the gaps between the straps were. Took some photos but they don't look very nice really.
Went to physio yesterday. She didn't look all that impressed with my attempt at walking which ok is perhaps more like me leaning on the frame and dragging my feet along the floor but hey I'm impressed with it. Don't think she thought much of my quads either which are not exactly bulging, more like barely visible. I need to keep working at building them up (ouch) because apparently they help with walking. However she was pleased with my knee bending which has gone up to 40 degrees. Yay!
After all that exercise my knee was complaining a bit. At about 3 am dosed up with naproxen and cocodamol and still in pain I gave in and took some of the oral morphine I brought home from hospital. That worked.
Think I need a little nap.
Saturday 26 September 2015
A hoover belt and great news
It was back to the fracture clinic yesterday. My appointment was bang in the middle of visiting time so we knew we had to get there early. P had arranged to do some gardening for a neighbour for a couple of hours after school drop-off then come back and get me to the bathroom to get ready then a quick sandwich and head for the hospital.
As soon as they'd left for school Mavis (as in elderly lady at previous church whom we help out quite a lot) phoned:
"Can you get me a new belt for my hoover?"
"Yes, but I don't honestly know if we can manage it today, I've got an appointment at the hospital and it could be a long time."
"Oh" sounding bit humpy "well can you get it by next Friday when my cleaner comes?"
"Yes we can definitely do that."
Anyway we got to the hospital an hour and a quarter early and got one of the last few spaces left in the car park. Went to the office to get my insurance form (which pays £11 for each night I was in hospital) stamped and they charged £10! £10 to put a rubber stamp on it. That's almost a whole night in hospital's worth.
We hung out in the coffee shop for a while then decided to register half an hour early. A few minutes later my name appeared on the screen so we headed to the clinic where I got into conversation with another woman in a wheelchair who had been on the same three wards as I had and had been in a room down the corridor from mine. This was cut short when I was told to go to x-ray where we waited for ages. When I got to see the consultant it was good news - the fracture has healed completely so I just need to work (hard) in getting the knee to bend and I can put weight on the leg. I can also take the brace off when I want.
Yippee! Thank you Lord!
I went home and with the brace still on and leaning on the walking frame I walked a few steps! I didn't think my feet would remember how to walk but they did.
I took the brace off while I slouched on the sofa and it felt so comfortable that I left it off in bed. I woke up in the early hours with my back and leg muscles complaining. I was awake for quite a long time waiting for the painkillers to work but it was ok - it was Saturday we could sleep late.
Mavis phoned at 7.30: had we got her hoover belt?
I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't so I got P to get me the laptop and ordered the wretched hoover belt from ebay.
I did some knee bending and P measured the angle (which he seems to enjoy) and said it was 34 degrees. Wow!
I think I'll put the brace on when I'm in the car or out in the wheelchair to protect my leg from bumps and try and keep it off at home.
I have an ambition: to manage to get from the bedroom to the bathroom by myself. That would be wonderful.
As soon as they'd left for school Mavis (as in elderly lady at previous church whom we help out quite a lot) phoned:
"Can you get me a new belt for my hoover?"
"Yes, but I don't honestly know if we can manage it today, I've got an appointment at the hospital and it could be a long time."
"Oh" sounding bit humpy "well can you get it by next Friday when my cleaner comes?"
"Yes we can definitely do that."
Anyway we got to the hospital an hour and a quarter early and got one of the last few spaces left in the car park. Went to the office to get my insurance form (which pays £11 for each night I was in hospital) stamped and they charged £10! £10 to put a rubber stamp on it. That's almost a whole night in hospital's worth.
We hung out in the coffee shop for a while then decided to register half an hour early. A few minutes later my name appeared on the screen so we headed to the clinic where I got into conversation with another woman in a wheelchair who had been on the same three wards as I had and had been in a room down the corridor from mine. This was cut short when I was told to go to x-ray where we waited for ages. When I got to see the consultant it was good news - the fracture has healed completely so I just need to work (hard) in getting the knee to bend and I can put weight on the leg. I can also take the brace off when I want.
Yippee! Thank you Lord!
I went home and with the brace still on and leaning on the walking frame I walked a few steps! I didn't think my feet would remember how to walk but they did.
I took the brace off while I slouched on the sofa and it felt so comfortable that I left it off in bed. I woke up in the early hours with my back and leg muscles complaining. I was awake for quite a long time waiting for the painkillers to work but it was ok - it was Saturday we could sleep late.
Mavis phoned at 7.30: had we got her hoover belt?
I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't so I got P to get me the laptop and ordered the wretched hoover belt from ebay.
I did some knee bending and P measured the angle (which he seems to enjoy) and said it was 34 degrees. Wow!
I think I'll put the brace on when I'm in the car or out in the wheelchair to protect my leg from bumps and try and keep it off at home.
I have an ambition: to manage to get from the bedroom to the bathroom by myself. That would be wonderful.
Wednesday 23 September 2015
J's future
J's uni application has been occupying our thoughts quite a lot recently as it has to be sent in soon. He's decided on his course - and is applying to Cambridge, two London colleges (cost of accommodation is a concern) amd two non-London colleges. He has been working on his personal statement which has been submitted to the Head of 6th form for the second time having made some corrections. He's filled in most of the details on the form now - there's a lot to enter especially as you have to list every exam module result.
Just need to get references from teachers and then he has to have an interview with the 6th form Head then it's time to send it off. In a couple of weeks he could be getting offers coming through. He's having to study for some entrance exams. He is working hard for these and he has to really. He's also getting quite a lot homework this year. His school got excellent GCSE results but the A-level results were so poor they weren't even mentioned on the school website. Normally the headteacher somehow manages to put a positive spin on things but this year he just couldn't manage it and P said when he went in for the Invigilator's training day there just seemed to be a general air of despondency when it came to the summary of the A-level results. So what they want the Year 13s to be doing is working hard. I feel sorry for the Head of 6th form because she's just back from maternity leave so she's dealing with trying to get them all to work harder, processing uni applications plus teaching then going home to take care of a baby. Hope it sleeps at night.
Just need to get references from teachers and then he has to have an interview with the 6th form Head then it's time to send it off. In a couple of weeks he could be getting offers coming through. He's having to study for some entrance exams. He is working hard for these and he has to really. He's also getting quite a lot homework this year. His school got excellent GCSE results but the A-level results were so poor they weren't even mentioned on the school website. Normally the headteacher somehow manages to put a positive spin on things but this year he just couldn't manage it and P said when he went in for the Invigilator's training day there just seemed to be a general air of despondency when it came to the summary of the A-level results. So what they want the Year 13s to be doing is working hard. I feel sorry for the Head of 6th form because she's just back from maternity leave so she's dealing with trying to get them all to work harder, processing uni applications plus teaching then going home to take care of a baby. Hope it sleeps at night.
Trying to bend
Was just reading previous post about spending nights arranging pillows just trying to get comfortable with the cast and ending up in tears and realised that the brace is definitely better. Most nights I do actually sleep quite well and can sleep on my right side if I lift my left leg over the right one and rest it on a pillow. One night I tried rolling over so I could sleep on my (preferred) left side but there was a horrible klunk of bones grinding together from my knee. Euuurgh!
I'm still working at trying to get my knee to bend but it's not going all that well really. I got it to 20 degrees with (P bullying me a bit) but the next day it really hurt a lot and the next and the next so I felt I needed to rest it for a couple of days. It was a lot less painful after that but it's only bending to 10 degrees now.
The operation wound has now turned into a scar and is healing very well.
I'm still trusting God that's it all going to be ok in the end.
I'm still working at trying to get my knee to bend but it's not going all that well really. I got it to 20 degrees with (P bullying me a bit) but the next day it really hurt a lot and the next and the next so I felt I needed to rest it for a couple of days. It was a lot less painful after that but it's only bending to 10 degrees now.
The operation wound has now turned into a scar and is healing very well.
I'm still trusting God that's it all going to be ok in the end.
Sunday 20 September 2015
Update
Back blogging again. Have been absent due to laptop going in for repair. For reasons that are probably mainly to do with my ineptitude with computers I'm only easily able to log on to blog from the laptop. For reasons that are beyond comprehension the laptop spent almost three weeks in the courier's depot and a few hours in the repair centre. It just needed the fan replacing and now no longer feels like a cooker after using it for 10 minutes.
Anyway things are going ok-ish. I'm still not meant to put weight on my right leg so still going around in a wheelchair with my leg sticking out like a battering ram. When I went to the Fracture Clinic 3 weeks ago they took off the plaster and put it in a metal brace. Trying to work out if this is better than the plaster - it's lighter and I can scratch most of my itches now but it's still not all that comfortable. Have had a physio appointment and been given exercises to do at home to try and get knee to bend but so far with not a great deal of success - or is getting to a bend of 15 degrees in 3 weeks good? Tried forcing it to 20 degrees then ended up in a load of pain. Feel a bit concerned about it really but going back to the clinic this week and will see what they say.
Need to go now - J needs laptop.
Anyway things are going ok-ish. I'm still not meant to put weight on my right leg so still going around in a wheelchair with my leg sticking out like a battering ram. When I went to the Fracture Clinic 3 weeks ago they took off the plaster and put it in a metal brace. Trying to work out if this is better than the plaster - it's lighter and I can scratch most of my itches now but it's still not all that comfortable. Have had a physio appointment and been given exercises to do at home to try and get knee to bend but so far with not a great deal of success - or is getting to a bend of 15 degrees in 3 weeks good? Tried forcing it to 20 degrees then ended up in a load of pain. Feel a bit concerned about it really but going back to the clinic this week and will see what they say.
Need to go now - J needs laptop.
Monday 24 August 2015
Back to church again
Made it to church yesterday - yay! Sooo good to be back. Made a sort of bed for myself on the corner seat at the back and was quite comfortable.
Great to see everyone again and to be able to worship God in that way you can't quite do when it's just you on your own.
Think I might have overdone things a bit over last few days - we went out on Saturday afternoon as well. - as the leg was quite painful yesterday afternoon. I ended up taking some strong painkiller to help me sleep last night. I love going out in the car but each little bump hurts the leg a bit. Took it easy today anyway.
Great to see everyone again and to be able to worship God in that way you can't quite do when it's just you on your own.
Think I might have overdone things a bit over last few days - we went out on Saturday afternoon as well. - as the leg was quite painful yesterday afternoon. I ended up taking some strong painkiller to help me sleep last night. I love going out in the car but each little bump hurts the leg a bit. Took it easy today anyway.
Curry and frustration in the night
I just have this little problem at the moment - the cast, my fourth one, is still not all that comfortable. In fact 'trying to get comfortable' is my new hobby, involving frequent rearranging of cushions and pillows and rolled-up towels. I think I'm just going to have to hang on until my 'two weeks after the operation appointment' later this week which is actually nearly four weeks after the operation as the consultant's been on holiday.
On Thursday evening we went to a Curry Night which was to say goodbye to three people from church who are leaving to go to Bible Colleges, one of them being 'Melanie'. It was lovely to be there and a really nice evening even if I was described as a 'dalek', with the legs of the stool I brought to rest the leg on, sticking out in front of me as I entered.
That night I couldn't get comfortable. Again and again I tried re-arranging my pile of pillows. Again and again I tried reading to send me to sleep. Nothing worked. I prayed to God to help me but it didn't get any better and the leg was hurting. I was calling out to Him and it was like He wasn't there. I wanted P to wake up and he didn't. I felt like I was alone in the universe. In the darkness I sat and cried with frustration.
At some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke up the next morning.
I remembered something I heard the Bible teacher Jill Briscoe say: "When you can't feel Him by feelings feel Him by faith."
It might have felt like God wasn't there in the night but of course He was. And he loves me. And He doesn't want me to be ill or in pain, I know that. I don't understand why it has to be so hard sometimes but I know He'll get me through and I know too that there are other people for whom it's a lot worse.
Keep trusting and keep praising.
On Thursday evening we went to a Curry Night which was to say goodbye to three people from church who are leaving to go to Bible Colleges, one of them being 'Melanie'. It was lovely to be there and a really nice evening even if I was described as a 'dalek', with the legs of the stool I brought to rest the leg on, sticking out in front of me as I entered.
That night I couldn't get comfortable. Again and again I tried re-arranging my pile of pillows. Again and again I tried reading to send me to sleep. Nothing worked. I prayed to God to help me but it didn't get any better and the leg was hurting. I was calling out to Him and it was like He wasn't there. I wanted P to wake up and he didn't. I felt like I was alone in the universe. In the darkness I sat and cried with frustration.
At some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke up the next morning.
I remembered something I heard the Bible teacher Jill Briscoe say: "When you can't feel Him by feelings feel Him by faith."
It might have felt like God wasn't there in the night but of course He was. And he loves me. And He doesn't want me to be ill or in pain, I know that. I don't understand why it has to be so hard sometimes but I know He'll get me through and I know too that there are other people for whom it's a lot worse.
Keep trusting and keep praising.
Exam results
While we were in the waiting room Becky texted me Tim's GCSE results -
he'd done well enough to stay on at Sixth Form and had got 7 As which
is pretty good. Tim was away on scout camp and she'd got his results on-line. She came round after we got home with her ipad. Exam results these days are complicated. There's a column of letters at the top and a whole load of figures at the bottom and if you're a parent you have a tendency to look at it and say; "What does it all mean?"
We eventually got it sussed and she decided there wasn't much point in trying to get any of his papers re-marked as he wasn't close enough to any of the grade-boundaries (we didn't have words like that in my day) to get an A* (we didn't have A* in my day either).
Actually I think I've just about got to grips with the school exam system now, now we're nearly at the end of it all.
Perhaps I should just mention J's exam results. As expected he did really well in Maths, Further Maths and Physics (in fact he did very, very well in some of his Maths modules). However Chemistry was a bit of a shock - two grades lower than he expected. Strangely a lot of other people in his year also got unexpected Chemistry results. One girl was given zero marks which seems very odd and understandably she was in floods of tears.
As J was only two marks below the next grade we decided to apply for a re-mark. This cost us £45 for each of the two papers to be marked and £10 for each paper to be returned - a total of £110! But then it is our child's future possibly at stake. Paper 1 came back with exactly the same mark and we waited a few more days for Paper 2. Finally the email popped up - 7 marks higher which took him up to the next grade - phew. And we receive £45 back which means the exam board has made £67 out of marking his exam wrong. Something just doesn't seem right about this. We haven't got the actual papers back yet so can't work out what happened.
Anyway J has done well enough to apply to the unis he likes - yay - well done J.
Oh and he passed his piano exam as well.
We eventually got it sussed and she decided there wasn't much point in trying to get any of his papers re-marked as he wasn't close enough to any of the grade-boundaries (we didn't have words like that in my day) to get an A* (we didn't have A* in my day either).
Actually I think I've just about got to grips with the school exam system now, now we're nearly at the end of it all.
Perhaps I should just mention J's exam results. As expected he did really well in Maths, Further Maths and Physics (in fact he did very, very well in some of his Maths modules). However Chemistry was a bit of a shock - two grades lower than he expected. Strangely a lot of other people in his year also got unexpected Chemistry results. One girl was given zero marks which seems very odd and understandably she was in floods of tears.
As J was only two marks below the next grade we decided to apply for a re-mark. This cost us £45 for each of the two papers to be marked and £10 for each paper to be returned - a total of £110! But then it is our child's future possibly at stake. Paper 1 came back with exactly the same mark and we waited a few more days for Paper 2. Finally the email popped up - 7 marks higher which took him up to the next grade - phew. And we receive £45 back which means the exam board has made £67 out of marking his exam wrong. Something just doesn't seem right about this. We haven't got the actual papers back yet so can't work out what happened.
Anyway J has done well enough to apply to the unis he likes - yay - well done J.
Oh and he passed his piano exam as well.
Flat leg
Having worked out how to get into the car I decided to see if I could get the plaster changed as I felt it had become a bit loose. They said I could come in on Tuesday. P tried to slightly complicate things by giving his date of birth instead of mine but they sorted it out and we didn't have to wait long. Yes it had got a bit loose as knee swelling reduced and it was rubbing a bit. The circular saw was a bit scary but it was nice to see my knee again and the operation wound looks like it's healing well. It was quite a quick job to put on a new cast. We headed off for a quick drink in the coffee shop then went through our getting-into-the-car routine and joined the queue to get out of the car park. And there we sat for a whole hour. I began to wonder if we would actually spend the entire rest of our lives there but finally we were out.
There were three people we met 'by coincidence' while I was in hospital - one was the woman from our old church whose mum had broken her hip, another was a couple who P used to work with - she prayed for me in the corridor and the other was a friend we hadn't seen for a while whose daughter had been admitted as she really wasn't well. The night of the operation when I really couldn't sleep, as the oxygen cylinder kept me awake by hissing, I spent praying for this girl which made me feel perhaps a little bit of good had come out of this whole experience.
Anyway we called round on the way home to drop off a card for her as she's been transferred to a unit elsewhere. Then after that we popped into Lidl to see if they'd got the biscuits J likes. If you think this is far too much for my first car journey you're right.
After we'd been home a while I thought my calf felt a bit squashed and my foot a bit numb. Then I felt the back of my leg and it was completely flat! Resting it on a hard surface while it set had obviously caused this to happen. I spent that night and the next morning wondering if I could cope with a flat leg and decided yes I could but not with numb toes so it was back again on Thursday.
The nurse got P to hold my leg up for 30 minutes so it would set properly - you're a hero P.
There were three people we met 'by coincidence' while I was in hospital - one was the woman from our old church whose mum had broken her hip, another was a couple who P used to work with - she prayed for me in the corridor and the other was a friend we hadn't seen for a while whose daughter had been admitted as she really wasn't well. The night of the operation when I really couldn't sleep, as the oxygen cylinder kept me awake by hissing, I spent praying for this girl which made me feel perhaps a little bit of good had come out of this whole experience.
Anyway we called round on the way home to drop off a card for her as she's been transferred to a unit elsewhere. Then after that we popped into Lidl to see if they'd got the biscuits J likes. If you think this is far too much for my first car journey you're right.
After we'd been home a while I thought my calf felt a bit squashed and my foot a bit numb. Then I felt the back of my leg and it was completely flat! Resting it on a hard surface while it set had obviously caused this to happen. I spent that night and the next morning wondering if I could cope with a flat leg and decided yes I could but not with numb toes so it was back again on Thursday.
The nurse got P to hold my leg up for 30 minutes so it would set properly - you're a hero P.
Getting into the car
This is how I get in the car:
P pushes me in wheelchair into living room, opens both french doors and puts ramp into position. He then carries walking frame to car. He pushes me down ramp while I call out "Not too fast!"
He lines wheelchair up parallel to car and just behind rear door. He removes wheelchair leg support while I hold the leg. He helps me to my foot and holds the leg and I lean on walking frame. With him still holding the leg I pivot on my left foot so I rotate through ninety degrees. Then as he still holds the leg I lower myself onto the seat. He lifts the leg so that it rests on plastic bit between two front seats. Then he loads the wheelchair, leg support and walking frame into the back of the car.
Then comes the difficult bit - I do up my seat-belt - our rear ones are really tricky.
P pushes me in wheelchair into living room, opens both french doors and puts ramp into position. He then carries walking frame to car. He pushes me down ramp while I call out "Not too fast!"
He lines wheelchair up parallel to car and just behind rear door. He removes wheelchair leg support while I hold the leg. He helps me to my foot and holds the leg and I lean on walking frame. With him still holding the leg I pivot on my left foot so I rotate through ninety degrees. Then as he still holds the leg I lower myself onto the seat. He lifts the leg so that it rests on plastic bit between two front seats. Then he loads the wheelchair, leg support and walking frame into the back of the car.
Then comes the difficult bit - I do up my seat-belt - our rear ones are really tricky.
What me - a flower arranger?
I've been given lots of flowers which is wonderful. I love flowers.
What
I don't like is arranging flowers. While recovering from an operation
several years ago two large bouquets arrived. I thought I'd just arrange
them in a vase - should be simple enough. P arrived home to find me
slumped sobbing on the floor surrounded by stalks.
Tuesday 18 August 2015
How To Get To Sleep
Gradually it got better in that we got into a routine and found out what
worked and what didn't. Eventually I gave up on the sofa because it was
just too hard to get off again - transferring from a high hospital bed
to the walking frame was one thing, from a low sofa with saggy cushions
quite another. We had a friend who developed MS (who sadly passed away
in 2001) and I used to wonder why she just sat in the wheelchair all the
time. Now I know - because it was easier.
We perfected the getting the wheelchair at 90 degrees to the base of the bed, P helping me turn and slide onto the bed and pull myself up technique.
We even managed to work out how to sit with the leg under the table.
Life at the moment still is either lying in bed or sitting in the wheelchair but it's ok, things are moving in the right direction. Today for the first time P pushed me outside and it was lovely to sit in the sun and hear the birds singing and wish I could dead-head the flowers. I've also managed to lower the leg for a while and today I stood, holding onto the walking frame and briefly rested the leg on a cushion on the floor. Rehabilitation is going to be a different journey for me than for most people who would by now be beginning to try out their crutches but I know God is with me and I'll get there. I feel hugely thankful that the operation was a success because apparently sometimes with injuries like this the bones can't be put back together and the knee-cap has to be removed. That just isn't a very good thought.
When I first got home I felt very sick and dizzy and the pain was bad. Gradually things have improved and I'm off most of the painkillers now, although I still take a couple at night which is when the cast comes into its own as a disruptor of sleep. It is just plain uncomfortable and every night involves arranging and re-arranging cushions in a desperate attempt to get comfortable and every so often waking P up as well. In the middle of last night, unable to sleep, I picked up a small book on learning Welsh. I woke up half way through the book with the light still on, I didn't seem to learn any Welsh though which I'd like to do as we visit there quite often. I wonder how many other languages I could not learn in order to get some sleep.
We perfected the getting the wheelchair at 90 degrees to the base of the bed, P helping me turn and slide onto the bed and pull myself up technique.
We even managed to work out how to sit with the leg under the table.
Life at the moment still is either lying in bed or sitting in the wheelchair but it's ok, things are moving in the right direction. Today for the first time P pushed me outside and it was lovely to sit in the sun and hear the birds singing and wish I could dead-head the flowers. I've also managed to lower the leg for a while and today I stood, holding onto the walking frame and briefly rested the leg on a cushion on the floor. Rehabilitation is going to be a different journey for me than for most people who would by now be beginning to try out their crutches but I know God is with me and I'll get there. I feel hugely thankful that the operation was a success because apparently sometimes with injuries like this the bones can't be put back together and the knee-cap has to be removed. That just isn't a very good thought.
When I first got home I felt very sick and dizzy and the pain was bad. Gradually things have improved and I'm off most of the painkillers now, although I still take a couple at night which is when the cast comes into its own as a disruptor of sleep. It is just plain uncomfortable and every night involves arranging and re-arranging cushions in a desperate attempt to get comfortable and every so often waking P up as well. In the middle of last night, unable to sleep, I picked up a small book on learning Welsh. I woke up half way through the book with the light still on, I didn't seem to learn any Welsh though which I'd like to do as we visit there quite often. I wonder how many other languages I could not learn in order to get some sleep.
Back Home But Not Easy
J was waiting on the road to direct the ambulance in (turn left by the teenager).
The ambulance man didn't really do his hernia any good getting me and the trolley up the ramp through our French doors and in to our living room but he was having his operation on the Monday anyway.
It just felt a bit strange being back home, sitting there in my wheelchair with the leg sticking out. I was struck by the realisation that I couldn't go anywhere - not from the chair to the sofa, from the chair to bed, to the bathroom, anywhere without someone moving me.
Then I needed to go to the bathroom. As P pushed me through the dining area I saw my slipper-boots lying on the floor under the table where they'd been left when I fell. Instantly I burst into tears. I've heard this reaction is quite common after an accident. When my brother opened the shed door after coming home from hospital and saw that there was still a little bit of his hand attached to the bow saw he said it was definitely a wobbly moment.
There was a more immediate issue to deal with though - a bookcase would have to be moved in order for me, the wheelchair and sticking out leg to negotiate the tuen into the bathroom. So P and J were dragging a large wobbly bookcase, which looked like it would topple over at any minute, along the corridor and I was sitting in the wheelchair sobbing.
Getting me in and out of the bathroom was difficult and the sticking out foot-support narrowly missed the glass shower door. Getting me onto the sofa was difficult and getting me off again almost impossible. Getting me back into the bathroom again and ready for bed was difficult and so was getting me into bed.
Were we going to be able to cope?
The ambulance man didn't really do his hernia any good getting me and the trolley up the ramp through our French doors and in to our living room but he was having his operation on the Monday anyway.
It just felt a bit strange being back home, sitting there in my wheelchair with the leg sticking out. I was struck by the realisation that I couldn't go anywhere - not from the chair to the sofa, from the chair to bed, to the bathroom, anywhere without someone moving me.
Then I needed to go to the bathroom. As P pushed me through the dining area I saw my slipper-boots lying on the floor under the table where they'd been left when I fell. Instantly I burst into tears. I've heard this reaction is quite common after an accident. When my brother opened the shed door after coming home from hospital and saw that there was still a little bit of his hand attached to the bow saw he said it was definitely a wobbly moment.
There was a more immediate issue to deal with though - a bookcase would have to be moved in order for me, the wheelchair and sticking out leg to negotiate the tuen into the bathroom. So P and J were dragging a large wobbly bookcase, which looked like it would topple over at any minute, along the corridor and I was sitting in the wheelchair sobbing.
Getting me in and out of the bathroom was difficult and the sticking out foot-support narrowly missed the glass shower door. Getting me onto the sofa was difficult and getting me off again almost impossible. Getting me back into the bathroom again and ready for bed was difficult and so was getting me into bed.
Were we going to be able to cope?
On My Way
I discovered that while it hadn't been all that easy to find my way into
a hospital bed it was actually quite difficult to get out of it.
In order to be discharged:
We were told the transport would pick me up at 11am on the Thursday and P arrived to take home the wheelchair, raised toilet seat and walking frame. We packed up my stuff. We gave the sister some chocolates for the staff. We sat and waited. I overheard the sister ask if my high-strength painkiller had actually been ordered from pharmacy. This was followed by a rather discouraging silence.
"Can you ask them to do it urgently?"
"Think it will be 1 o'clock when they pick you up, these things happen with transport," said a nurse to us.
At 1.30pm P felt he needed to go.
Finally at 3.15 two wonderful people in green appeared and loaded me onto a trolley. I waved goodbye to everyone and I was off.
Back home.
Back to P and J.
Back to normal life.
Except it wasn't.
In order to be discharged:
- the consultant had to say it was ok
- the physios had to say it was ok
- I had to have all the correct equipment in place at home
- my take-home drugs had to be ordered from pharmacy
- an ambulance had to be arranged to get me home
We were told the transport would pick me up at 11am on the Thursday and P arrived to take home the wheelchair, raised toilet seat and walking frame. We packed up my stuff. We gave the sister some chocolates for the staff. We sat and waited. I overheard the sister ask if my high-strength painkiller had actually been ordered from pharmacy. This was followed by a rather discouraging silence.
"Can you ask them to do it urgently?"
"Think it will be 1 o'clock when they pick you up, these things happen with transport," said a nurse to us.
At 1.30pm P felt he needed to go.
Finally at 3.15 two wonderful people in green appeared and loaded me onto a trolley. I waved goodbye to everyone and I was off.
Back home.
Back to P and J.
Back to normal life.
Except it wasn't.
I Want To Go Home
"WAKE UP. IT'S ALL OVER!"
There's nothing to operations really, all you do is lie on a trolley and someone else does it all. Well the bit after the operation can be perhaps not quite so easy.
"It all went very well," said the nurse beside me.
I surveyed the massive edifice of white plaster that my leg had become. A problem was immediately apparent:
"The bottom of the plaster is rubbing against my ankle."
"Oh yes, they need to trim that."
"That plaster is far too big" said the consultant the next morning to the doctor whose proud creation it was "lovely and smooth but too big and it's rubbing on her ankle. We'll get a new one done for you on Monday."
Monday???
Yes, the plaster room didn't deal with in-patients at the week-end.
The ankle-rubbing plaster made for a miserable week-end - as well as the pain of the knee I had the totally unnecessary pain of the ankle. This could only be relieved by propping my foot in exactly the right position.As soon as I fell asleep it would then fall out of exactly the right position and it was either buzzing a nurse to try and re-arrange it or just bearing it for a while. When a nurse found me almost in tears at 5 am on the Sunday and got me some toast and jam as well as some extra pain-killers it felt like one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for me. She managed to track down a doctor who gave her permission to trim the plaster but she couldn't find anything she could use to trim it.
Finally on Monday it happened - the plaster taken off, revealing a knee that looked a bit like a stitched up roll of meat and a nice smaller one (though still very heavy) put on, mercifully clear of my ankle.
Apart from a few crises - several involving low blood-pressure, the one where the physios got me into a chair then went off and left me and I nearly fainted, the 'can't get the cannula in' one, the 'cannula's stopped working' one and the 'if this cannula isn't working can't some one please take it out' one - everything went well. The staff were all lovely for which I was very thankful. Our pastors and another couple of friends came in and prayed with me. When I was feeling a bit low one morning the chaplain appeared in my room and held my hand while I had a cry.
Getting me out of bed was a complicated procedure involving leaning on a giant walking-frame and pivotting on my other foot and then sinking into the wheelchair, the leg being held by someone throughout. This began to get a bit difficult as whenever I buzzed for someone to help me to the bathroom I had to explain all over again exactly how to do it and I could see that supporting the weight of the leg was hard for them. Although they tried hard they didn't always support it in the right way and sometimes it hurt. I just wanted P to do it, he was used to caring for me, he understood my body, I wanted him to come and live there with me. When I needed the loo I started hanging on until visiting time when he could help me - sometimes this would be for 4 or 5 hours (yes I realise this wasn't a good idea).
Really I just wanted to go home.
There's nothing to operations really, all you do is lie on a trolley and someone else does it all. Well the bit after the operation can be perhaps not quite so easy.
"It all went very well," said the nurse beside me.
I surveyed the massive edifice of white plaster that my leg had become. A problem was immediately apparent:
"The bottom of the plaster is rubbing against my ankle."
"Oh yes, they need to trim that."
"That plaster is far too big" said the consultant the next morning to the doctor whose proud creation it was "lovely and smooth but too big and it's rubbing on her ankle. We'll get a new one done for you on Monday."
Monday???
Yes, the plaster room didn't deal with in-patients at the week-end.
The ankle-rubbing plaster made for a miserable week-end - as well as the pain of the knee I had the totally unnecessary pain of the ankle. This could only be relieved by propping my foot in exactly the right position.As soon as I fell asleep it would then fall out of exactly the right position and it was either buzzing a nurse to try and re-arrange it or just bearing it for a while. When a nurse found me almost in tears at 5 am on the Sunday and got me some toast and jam as well as some extra pain-killers it felt like one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for me. She managed to track down a doctor who gave her permission to trim the plaster but she couldn't find anything she could use to trim it.
Finally on Monday it happened - the plaster taken off, revealing a knee that looked a bit like a stitched up roll of meat and a nice smaller one (though still very heavy) put on, mercifully clear of my ankle.
Apart from a few crises - several involving low blood-pressure, the one where the physios got me into a chair then went off and left me and I nearly fainted, the 'can't get the cannula in' one, the 'cannula's stopped working' one and the 'if this cannula isn't working can't some one please take it out' one - everything went well. The staff were all lovely for which I was very thankful. Our pastors and another couple of friends came in and prayed with me. When I was feeling a bit low one morning the chaplain appeared in my room and held my hand while I had a cry.
Getting me out of bed was a complicated procedure involving leaning on a giant walking-frame and pivotting on my other foot and then sinking into the wheelchair, the leg being held by someone throughout. This began to get a bit difficult as whenever I buzzed for someone to help me to the bathroom I had to explain all over again exactly how to do it and I could see that supporting the weight of the leg was hard for them. Although they tried hard they didn't always support it in the right way and sometimes it hurt. I just wanted P to do it, he was used to caring for me, he understood my body, I wanted him to come and live there with me. When I needed the loo I started hanging on until visiting time when he could help me - sometimes this would be for 4 or 5 hours (yes I realise this wasn't a good idea).
Really I just wanted to go home.
A comfortable bed
Two days before the accident we'd gone to Faith Camp (a large Christian
camp run by Kingdom Faith Ministries) for the day. I'd found the
teaching very powerful and had also attended the 'Healing School'
seminar. This led me to start re-reading an old book called 'Your
Healing Is Within You' by Jim Glennon (Hodder and Stoughton Ltd 1978
UK). I had brought this into hospital with me together with a book I'd
bought at Faith Camp called 'Power Thoughts' by Joyce Meyer (Hodder
Stoughton 2011 UK). Both these books have themes of praising God and
trusting Him whatever the circumstances.
Early the next morning a nurse came and helped me wash. Others came and told me that my husband and Dad had phoned. Apart from that I just lay on my trolley all morning, reading my books, praying for the other patients as they nervously went off for their operations and telling God I trusted Him and praised Him whatever was going to happen. I really think it was all the people praying for me that helped me to stay calm.
I was however still feeling very shocked and shaky and hungry.
Just before lunch-time a team of doctors materialised in front of me.
"Oh there you are, found you at last" said the consultant "we're going to operate to wire the pieces of bone together but we can't do it today - we'll do it tomorrow morning."
"Does that mean I can eat and drink?"
I had a turkey salad, the meat didn't look much like turkey, or even like meat really, but the salad was ok.
Then I was whisked away to an orthopaedic ward and a bed. 12 hours after the accident and I was in a snuggly-wuggly comfy bed. By coincidence someone we knew from our previous church was sitting visiting her mother in the same bay. The nurse assigned to me was lovely and I don't think I've ever seen anyone work so hard - I didn't see her stop moving at any time.
A couple of hours later I was told I was off to another orthopaedic ward and waved goodbye to my friend and 'nice nurse'.
On the new ward I had the luxury of a room of my own and for a small fee (well P said it wasn't really all that small) I had my own phone, TV, a selection of films and internet access. The internet was a bit hard to use - after 3 jabs it would open the email under the one I wanted so I gave up on it in the end but it was great to be able to chat on the phone with family and friends. There was also a bed whose head and foot could be moved independently at the touch of a button. I never did quite get the hang of it and ended up in some rather strange positions.
In th end the operation took place on the Friday afternoon - two days after the accident. P and J had come in to visit and waved me off. I think it must have been the power of prayer keeping me so calm as I was wheeled off - I was really hardly nervous at all. The theatre staff chatted to me a bit then told me to imagine I was somewhere nice as they injected something into my arm:
"Where are you thinking of?"
"A beach."
"Where's the beach?"
"Brittany."
"What are you doing?"
"Paddling..."
That had been a wonderful holiday in Brittany ...
Early the next morning a nurse came and helped me wash. Others came and told me that my husband and Dad had phoned. Apart from that I just lay on my trolley all morning, reading my books, praying for the other patients as they nervously went off for their operations and telling God I trusted Him and praised Him whatever was going to happen. I really think it was all the people praying for me that helped me to stay calm.
I was however still feeling very shocked and shaky and hungry.
Just before lunch-time a team of doctors materialised in front of me.
"Oh there you are, found you at last" said the consultant "we're going to operate to wire the pieces of bone together but we can't do it today - we'll do it tomorrow morning."
"Does that mean I can eat and drink?"
I had a turkey salad, the meat didn't look much like turkey, or even like meat really, but the salad was ok.
Then I was whisked away to an orthopaedic ward and a bed. 12 hours after the accident and I was in a snuggly-wuggly comfy bed. By coincidence someone we knew from our previous church was sitting visiting her mother in the same bay. The nurse assigned to me was lovely and I don't think I've ever seen anyone work so hard - I didn't see her stop moving at any time.
A couple of hours later I was told I was off to another orthopaedic ward and waved goodbye to my friend and 'nice nurse'.
On the new ward I had the luxury of a room of my own and for a small fee (well P said it wasn't really all that small) I had my own phone, TV, a selection of films and internet access. The internet was a bit hard to use - after 3 jabs it would open the email under the one I wanted so I gave up on it in the end but it was great to be able to chat on the phone with family and friends. There was also a bed whose head and foot could be moved independently at the touch of a button. I never did quite get the hang of it and ended up in some rather strange positions.
In th end the operation took place on the Friday afternoon - two days after the accident. P and J had come in to visit and waved me off. I think it must have been the power of prayer keeping me so calm as I was wheeled off - I was really hardly nervous at all. The theatre staff chatted to me a bit then told me to imagine I was somewhere nice as they injected something into my arm:
"Where are you thinking of?"
"A beach."
"Where's the beach?"
"Brittany."
"What are you doing?"
"Paddling..."
That had been a wonderful holiday in Brittany ...
A long day
First I screamed and then I knew I was going to die. The pain exploding
through my body was more than I could bear. I didn't know what had
happened but it was something really bad. Everything went black in
front of my eyes. I felt my head falling backwards.
"Breathe. Breathe normally. Breathe."
P's voice seemed to come from a long way away. I forced myself to take a breath.
"Try and wiggle your toes for me."
I wiggled.
"Now you're hyper-ventilating, breathe normally and try to stop crying."
I tried.
"Get a pillow and put it under her head," P was saying to J "now support her ankle while I straighten her leg."
It occurred to me that I wasn't dead. It also occurred to me that marrying a trained First-Aider had been quite a good idea.
Somehow P and J lifted me into the wheelchair and with the leg straightened, bandaged and supported the pain was just about bearable.
"There's a dent in your knee-cap, we're going to have to go to hospital."
I tried to process what he'd said - a dent in my knee-cap?
He dialled 999.
"I think my wife's fractured her patella ... patella ... you know... her knee-cap."
I sighed.
J left his lunch on the table and went to wait on the main road to make sure the ambulance didn't miss our drive.
P and I sat in the kitchen and waited. 'We need prayer.' I thought. If people were praying for us then we would make it through this. We sent a few texts then prayed with each other. Then we waited. I contemplated the fact that my legs were soon to be scrutinised by strangers:
"Could you just get my shaver from the bathroom?"
"What?"
After an hour two paramedics arrived. The older one looked at my balloon shaped knee:
"You're going to hospital."
"Oh good, I'm going to be able to give my first morphine injection," said the younger one, a trainee.
The older one phoned for an ambulance and told them it was an emergency. Then we all sat in our kitchen and waited for two more hours which seemed a bit of a waste of their time really but apparently it's the rules - they had to stay with me until I was handed over at the hospital. I breathed in lots of gas-and-air which certainly brought back memories.
Finally I was carried out on a stretcher through our French doors , which was a bit scary - I thought I might fall off - and on my way. The first part of being in A & E went remarkably quickly - painkillers, brief chat with a nurse, x-ray...
"Hmm, I've seen quite alot of knee x-rays but I've never actually seen one quite this bad" said the nurse reassuringly "look there's 1,2,3,4 pieces and possibly something going on down here as well. I think they might want to keep you in."
They would put it in a temporary plaster they said, to make it more comfortable. A doctor appeared with a syringe.
"We need to reduce the swelling first by withdrawing the blood."
Whacking great needle, stuck in my knee, clanking against the broken bones...me muttering about the possibility of gas-and-air, the doctor ignoring me. This is what they call being 'more comfortable'?
Two ladies appeared with a large bucket and slapped plaster over my leg which felt quite warm and soothing. They were going to operate in the morning, nothing to eat after 3 am but we could go and see if we could find a sandwich as I hadn't eaten since breakfast, then come back and they'd put me on a trolley. It was just after 8 pm the shops and cafes were shut but eventually we found a vending machine down a dingy corridor. Never had a ham roll tasted so good.
Back to the waiting room - and sitting in the wheelchair for 3 hours. No sign of a trolley. I was still shaking from the shock and my neck was in desperate need of support. P asked if there was a cushion available and they gave him a sheet - not quite the same. Eventually he went and pleaded with the receptionist - his wife had M.E., she'd been sitting on a wheelchair with a broken knee for 11 hours, was there not a trolley somehere in the hospital she could lie on? After a short while we were told I could spend the night on a trolley in the 'Day-Stay Ward' which seemed a bit of a contradiction in terms really. I was wheeled into a dark, nearly empty ward and transferrred to a trolley which had sheets and blankets on it. I lay back in relief. A nurse appeared with a whole booklet of questions for me to answer so I could be 'admitted'.
Finally she finished and despite the discomfort of the cast I slipped into sleep.
"Breathe. Breathe normally. Breathe."
P's voice seemed to come from a long way away. I forced myself to take a breath.
"Try and wiggle your toes for me."
I wiggled.
"Now you're hyper-ventilating, breathe normally and try to stop crying."
I tried.
"Get a pillow and put it under her head," P was saying to J "now support her ankle while I straighten her leg."
It occurred to me that I wasn't dead. It also occurred to me that marrying a trained First-Aider had been quite a good idea.
Somehow P and J lifted me into the wheelchair and with the leg straightened, bandaged and supported the pain was just about bearable.
"There's a dent in your knee-cap, we're going to have to go to hospital."
I tried to process what he'd said - a dent in my knee-cap?
He dialled 999.
"I think my wife's fractured her patella ... patella ... you know... her knee-cap."
I sighed.
J left his lunch on the table and went to wait on the main road to make sure the ambulance didn't miss our drive.
P and I sat in the kitchen and waited. 'We need prayer.' I thought. If people were praying for us then we would make it through this. We sent a few texts then prayed with each other. Then we waited. I contemplated the fact that my legs were soon to be scrutinised by strangers:
"Could you just get my shaver from the bathroom?"
"What?"
After an hour two paramedics arrived. The older one looked at my balloon shaped knee:
"You're going to hospital."
"Oh good, I'm going to be able to give my first morphine injection," said the younger one, a trainee.
The older one phoned for an ambulance and told them it was an emergency. Then we all sat in our kitchen and waited for two more hours which seemed a bit of a waste of their time really but apparently it's the rules - they had to stay with me until I was handed over at the hospital. I breathed in lots of gas-and-air which certainly brought back memories.
Finally I was carried out on a stretcher through our French doors , which was a bit scary - I thought I might fall off - and on my way. The first part of being in A & E went remarkably quickly - painkillers, brief chat with a nurse, x-ray...
"Hmm, I've seen quite alot of knee x-rays but I've never actually seen one quite this bad" said the nurse reassuringly "look there's 1,2,3,4 pieces and possibly something going on down here as well. I think they might want to keep you in."
They would put it in a temporary plaster they said, to make it more comfortable. A doctor appeared with a syringe.
"We need to reduce the swelling first by withdrawing the blood."
Whacking great needle, stuck in my knee, clanking against the broken bones...me muttering about the possibility of gas-and-air, the doctor ignoring me. This is what they call being 'more comfortable'?
Two ladies appeared with a large bucket and slapped plaster over my leg which felt quite warm and soothing. They were going to operate in the morning, nothing to eat after 3 am but we could go and see if we could find a sandwich as I hadn't eaten since breakfast, then come back and they'd put me on a trolley. It was just after 8 pm the shops and cafes were shut but eventually we found a vending machine down a dingy corridor. Never had a ham roll tasted so good.
Back to the waiting room - and sitting in the wheelchair for 3 hours. No sign of a trolley. I was still shaking from the shock and my neck was in desperate need of support. P asked if there was a cushion available and they gave him a sheet - not quite the same. Eventually he went and pleaded with the receptionist - his wife had M.E., she'd been sitting on a wheelchair with a broken knee for 11 hours, was there not a trolley somehere in the hospital she could lie on? After a short while we were told I could spend the night on a trolley in the 'Day-Stay Ward' which seemed a bit of a contradiction in terms really. I was wheeled into a dark, nearly empty ward and transferrred to a trolley which had sheets and blankets on it. I lay back in relief. A nurse appeared with a whole booklet of questions for me to answer so I could be 'admitted'.
Finally she finished and despite the discomfort of the cast I slipped into sleep.
Bad slipper-boots
On Wednesday July 29th as a result of a freak accident, my right leg, normally rather inconspicuous and ordinary looking, although a bit on the dysfunctional side, turnd into the leg.
As in:
"Help me support the leg while I try to straighten it."
"Do you need some gas and air while we put the leg in a splint?"
"The surgery on the leg went very well."
"Just see if you can manage to swing the leg over the side of the bed."
"Think we need to change the plaster on the leg."
"No weight bearing on the leg for 6 weeks."
"Don't drop the leg!!!"
On that fateful day I had been with P to coffee morning at our previous church and had a good time although the weather had been a bit colder than I expected. We returned home, I scooted to our dining area, walked into our bedroom to change my shoes and there on the floor were my slipper-boots looking all snug and cosy. What was also on the floor by my bedside-cabinet was an innocent-looking fabric shopping bag. Where it all went wrong was that as I slipped one of my feet into a slipper-boot it must have caught in the handle of the bag and I unknowingly trailed the bag across the room.
I closed the door. The bag jammed behind it. The bag handle tightened round my ankle. I felt something yank my foot from under me.
I knew I was going to fall and I knew that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
Sunday 26 July 2015
Wet weather
I have a friend at church whom I'll call Melanie who is a very lively, outgoing, beautiful person and livens up all our lives. Over the last few weeks she has been running a housegroup at her home but in a couple of months she is going to Bible College in America. On Thursday we had the last housegroup meeting and she'd cooked some yummy food for us - 'Chinese Chicken' and rice and salad and strawberries and cream. We're really going to miss her.
Woke up feeling really tired this morning. My body didn't want to go to church but my mind over-ruled it. There was a talk on healing and prayers for healing afterwards but I didn't go up which may have looked a bot strange seeig as I went out in a wheelchair but sometimes I just know it's not the right time to have prayer.
This year we decided not to go to Faith Camp for the week although we might pop up there for a day. Hope they're coping ok in this wet weather. Camping in the rain just isn't all that much fun.
Was pleased to see that they're putting in some new drainage at the bottom of our hill so hopefully it'll mean an end to the lake which forms at the bottom whenever we have heavy rain.
Woke up feeling really tired this morning. My body didn't want to go to church but my mind over-ruled it. There was a talk on healing and prayers for healing afterwards but I didn't go up which may have looked a bot strange seeig as I went out in a wheelchair but sometimes I just know it's not the right time to have prayer.
This year we decided not to go to Faith Camp for the week although we might pop up there for a day. Hope they're coping ok in this wet weather. Camping in the rain just isn't all that much fun.
Was pleased to see that they're putting in some new drainage at the bottom of our hill so hopefully it'll mean an end to the lake which forms at the bottom whenever we have heavy rain.
Lows and highs of being a Maths tutor
As I've said before J's school started this scheme where sixth formers would be paid by the school to tutor some of the younger pupils in Maths and English. The teachers thought this was a good idea - hopefully it would result in better exam results. The sixth formers thought it was a good idea - useful experience, would look good on UCAS forms and money. The sixth formers' parents thought it was a good idea for the same reasons. Presumably the parents of those to be tutored thought it was a good idea.
However
There was one group who didn't seem to think it was quite such a good idea - those being tutored. Staying behind school for an extra hour of Maths or English? Yeah, really good idea!
The girl J was tutoring only turned up on two occasions, never seemed very enthusiastic and showed a rather irritating inability to let him know when she couldn't make it. This was frustrating for him as he felt he could really help her with Maths.
However he is privately tutoring a 9 year old boy for the summer and he came home on quite a high from the first session: - "He's engaged, he wants to learn, we had a good time!"
Needs to work at his time tables a bit though.
However
There was one group who didn't seem to think it was quite such a good idea - those being tutored. Staying behind school for an extra hour of Maths or English? Yeah, really good idea!
The girl J was tutoring only turned up on two occasions, never seemed very enthusiastic and showed a rather irritating inability to let him know when she couldn't make it. This was frustrating for him as he felt he could really help her with Maths.
However he is privately tutoring a 9 year old boy for the summer and he came home on quite a high from the first session: - "He's engaged, he wants to learn, we had a good time!"
Needs to work at his time tables a bit though.
Sunday 19 July 2015
Wrong Decisions
Have you ever done anything that's just really stupid? Well this is my latest really stupid, can't believe I did that, just thankful it wasn't as bad as it could have been, deed.
J had to retake his piano exam - the examiner described the last one as 'deteriorating as it went on'. These things happen. In fact once a music exam has begun to deteriorate it's very hard to get it back on track.
Anyway the retake was at a different centre, in someone's private house where we hadn't been before. This was in a town about half an hour away at the most. We left early because you never know with journeys and it was important to get there in good time - we actually allowed nearly an hour and a quarter. P said he knew the way, off we went.
As we went along I read the directions they'd sent out to all the parents and it gave instructions for how to get there from the motorway. At this point my brain completely shut down.
"They're saying we should go on the motorway," I said.
(NO THEY WEREN'T, THEY SAID HOW TO GET THERE IF YOU WERE COMING OFF THE MOTORWAY, THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE WE LIVED, THEY WEREN'T SAYING WE HAD TO TAKE THE MOTORWAY)
"Are you sure?" asked P.
"Yes."
"Well ok."
So he headed towards the motorway, he turned off, we got to a roundabout - turn left to go South on the motorway, turn right to go North on the motorway.
P: "Which way?"
Me: "Don't you know?"
P: "No! Don't you?"
Me: "No!"
P: "We have to decide now!"
E: "Turn right."
A few minutes of driving North.
Me: "We got it wrong didn't we?"
P : "Yep. What's the best thing to do?"
Me: "Turn round at the next junction."
P: "How far to the next junction?"
Me: "Er quite a long way." (Like 8 miles).
P: "Look how the traffic's building up on the other side, there's been an accident or something, if we turn round at the junction we'll get stuck."
Sooo... we turned off and headed into the outskirts of a city with the satnav navigating and we went through what seemed like endless traffic lights and got stuck in traffic jam after traffic jam and we were horribly conscious that we could be late for the exam and he might even miss it altogether and last time we trusted the satnav it all went horribly wrong and this was all my fault and at any moment P could lose the admirable restraint he was showing and point out that it was all my fault and I might just say that seeing as he'd lived round here all his life he could have just told me I was wrong from the start and gone the way he'd planned all along which would have been a bit unreasonable really and a conversation like that wouldn't help J to stay calm.
Anyway we made it with three minutes to spare and the lady of the house said we could wait outside and there we were in one of the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen with lovely lilies and a water feature and birds singing and a studio where her husband was painting and a walkway under trees to a summer house and it was all so restful and calming which was just as well really.
I could have stayed there forever but J had to go in and do his exam and came out again and said it went ok apart from sight reading and singing and it was a lovely piano to play and a nice examiner.
Then we all went and got ice-cream.
J had to retake his piano exam - the examiner described the last one as 'deteriorating as it went on'. These things happen. In fact once a music exam has begun to deteriorate it's very hard to get it back on track.
Anyway the retake was at a different centre, in someone's private house where we hadn't been before. This was in a town about half an hour away at the most. We left early because you never know with journeys and it was important to get there in good time - we actually allowed nearly an hour and a quarter. P said he knew the way, off we went.
As we went along I read the directions they'd sent out to all the parents and it gave instructions for how to get there from the motorway. At this point my brain completely shut down.
"They're saying we should go on the motorway," I said.
(NO THEY WEREN'T, THEY SAID HOW TO GET THERE IF YOU WERE COMING OFF THE MOTORWAY, THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE WE LIVED, THEY WEREN'T SAYING WE HAD TO TAKE THE MOTORWAY)
"Are you sure?" asked P.
"Yes."
"Well ok."
So he headed towards the motorway, he turned off, we got to a roundabout - turn left to go South on the motorway, turn right to go North on the motorway.
P: "Which way?"
Me: "Don't you know?"
P: "No! Don't you?"
Me: "No!"
P: "We have to decide now!"
E: "Turn right."
A few minutes of driving North.
Me: "We got it wrong didn't we?"
P : "Yep. What's the best thing to do?"
Me: "Turn round at the next junction."
P: "How far to the next junction?"
Me: "Er quite a long way." (Like 8 miles).
P: "Look how the traffic's building up on the other side, there's been an accident or something, if we turn round at the junction we'll get stuck."
Sooo... we turned off and headed into the outskirts of a city with the satnav navigating and we went through what seemed like endless traffic lights and got stuck in traffic jam after traffic jam and we were horribly conscious that we could be late for the exam and he might even miss it altogether and last time we trusted the satnav it all went horribly wrong and this was all my fault and at any moment P could lose the admirable restraint he was showing and point out that it was all my fault and I might just say that seeing as he'd lived round here all his life he could have just told me I was wrong from the start and gone the way he'd planned all along which would have been a bit unreasonable really and a conversation like that wouldn't help J to stay calm.
Anyway we made it with three minutes to spare and the lady of the house said we could wait outside and there we were in one of the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen with lovely lilies and a water feature and birds singing and a studio where her husband was painting and a walkway under trees to a summer house and it was all so restful and calming which was just as well really.
I could have stayed there forever but J had to go in and do his exam and came out again and said it went ok apart from sight reading and singing and it was a lovely piano to play and a nice examiner.
Then we all went and got ice-cream.
Lobby Life
I spend quite a lot of my time sitting in lobbies while my family go upstairs to look at things. I took this picture at St John's College Cambridge while P and J were upstairs looking at accommodation. We only looked round three colleges on Open Day, although J had previously been round Trinity. The guide who showed us round Gonville-Caius (pronounced Keys) raced round at high speed and talked very fast so we didn't actually understand very much. He ended up racing up a flight of stairs and didn't mention that there was a disabled lift round the side. Never mind. The guides at St John's and Magdalene gave us tours just for the three of us and had a much more leisurely approach. When we went into the garden at Magdalene Rowan Williams was standing there (he's Master of the college)! P and I were being very embarrassing, nudging each other and saying "That's Rowan Williams". Anyway we went into their new building and the very nice and highly intelligent Science student showing us round couldn't find the key for the lift he said, so I sat in the lobby while they all went upstairs. While I was waiting there some people walked in, went over and pressed the lift button, got in and up it went. Then, while I was still waiting there, in walked Rowan Williams and he said Hello to me. Wow!
Monday 6 July 2015
Bristol
 |
| Going over Clifton Suspension Bridge |
 |
| The bridge from a distance |
 |
| The harbour |
| We had a little wander round Bristol on the Friday night. |
Friday 26 June 2015
Exams and uni visits
Well we have survived all the AS exams, J says they went ok but then he always says that. Since last blogging we have been on a couple of university visits. Last weekend we were in Bristol where we inadvertantly ended up at a 'Residential Home for the elderly' by mistake - could happen to anyone and I definitely blame the satnav.
Anyway J liked the uni and he's going to apply there although not his first choice. While he was at his Maths and Physics lectures P and I looked round the city which is lovely. P had a bit of a struggle pushing me up and down the steep hills and as we went back up to the uni for the last time he was definitely a bit short of breath. There was also an interesting moment when a wheelchair handle came off going downhill. P popped into a mini-supermarket for some superglue and the shopkeeper came out looking very concerned to make sure it worked. People in Bristol seemed to be very friendly.
P and J headed off to Imperial College yesterday which they really liked (this was where my brother went and er didn't like it very much but he says it was him not them). J's a bit worried about the accommodation costs though.
Just two more visits to go.
Anyway J liked the uni and he's going to apply there although not his first choice. While he was at his Maths and Physics lectures P and I looked round the city which is lovely. P had a bit of a struggle pushing me up and down the steep hills and as we went back up to the uni for the last time he was definitely a bit short of breath. There was also an interesting moment when a wheelchair handle came off going downhill. P popped into a mini-supermarket for some superglue and the shopkeeper came out looking very concerned to make sure it worked. People in Bristol seemed to be very friendly.
P and J headed off to Imperial College yesterday which they really liked (this was where my brother went and er didn't like it very much but he says it was him not them). J's a bit worried about the accommodation costs though.
Just two more visits to go.
Monday 18 May 2015
Goat casserole and model planes
Have just had goat casserole for lunch - tasted ok actually, was slow-cooked for 8 hours yesterday.
Weather is wet and windy. J has done 2 exams so far, first went very well he says, second was ok except for last question - worked out how to do it just after he came out of exam room. Oh well these things happen, hope he still gets grade he needs.
A friend has just told me that her son's teacher said exercise helps revision - just got J to get off sofa and do 50 star jumps. Come on J another 450 and you might get an A*.
Seriously his lack of exercise does concern me - he maintains that walking from the 6th form centre to the Maths Block is an endurance sport. Not so sure about that.
Went to a model aircraft show with P and J on Saturday. Surprisingly enjoyable, helped by sunshine and choc caramel Magnum (back to healthy-eating today - if goat is considered healthy). A bit too windy to fly planes P had made - shame as he's spent several weeks making them.
Have I mentioned that P and J are running a modelling (as in planes and cars not clothes) club at J's old junior school? Seems to be going well so far.
Weather is wet and windy. J has done 2 exams so far, first went very well he says, second was ok except for last question - worked out how to do it just after he came out of exam room. Oh well these things happen, hope he still gets grade he needs.
A friend has just told me that her son's teacher said exercise helps revision - just got J to get off sofa and do 50 star jumps. Come on J another 450 and you might get an A*.
Seriously his lack of exercise does concern me - he maintains that walking from the 6th form centre to the Maths Block is an endurance sport. Not so sure about that.
Went to a model aircraft show with P and J on Saturday. Surprisingly enjoyable, helped by sunshine and choc caramel Magnum (back to healthy-eating today - if goat is considered healthy). A bit too windy to fly planes P had made - shame as he's spent several weeks making them.
Have I mentioned that P and J are running a modelling (as in planes and cars not clothes) club at J's old junior school? Seems to be going well so far.
Tuesday 12 May 2015
Simnel cake
Here is a picture of three quarters of the Simnel cake P made. The other quarter sadly got squashed en route to Wales although still tasted nice. (Those flowers, though, taste disgusting - all chemically - bleh).
Pizza reheating and revision
So here I am waiting for the wheelchair-service man to turn up on this lovely sunny day and instructing J on how to reheat a pizza which for some reason has become incredibly complicated - 18 months and you're on your own J so you'd better learn. He's at home on doss about study leave at the moment. He says he's going to do some work later. Please J, just to put my mind at rest, please do some revision.
Monday 11 May 2015
The Shock
Ok so all the polls had been saying that the election was going to be such a close-run thing and it was a question of who would form a coalition with whom and we were on our way to vote on Thursday when P suddenly said:
"What if people have a last-minute panic about the economy and decide to vote Conservative and they get a majority?"
I stayed up to watch the results like I always do and there was the exit poll suggesting the Tories had done very well and there was everyone disbelieving it and Paddy Ashdown offering to eat his hat (I think the lesson we should all learn from this is never, ever offer to eat your hat).
People round here are referring to the result as 'The Shock' because whatever your political views it was a huge, unexpected shock like this can't be happening, I must have fallen asleep and it's all just a dream.
So I sat there watching and, having grown up with parents who were members of the Liberal Party and my dad having stood as a candidate, it was painful seeing the Liberal Democrats so decimated. I wasn't actually surprised that UKIP did so badly and SNP did so well but probably like most people I thought Labour would have done better.
Then I woke up at 4 am and realised I'd been dreaming that I was going to bed and then I felt I did want to go to bed so I did, waking P up and updating him "Told you so" he muttered. Then I couldn't get to sleep so after half an hour I got up, waking P again and sat there, listening to the birds singing and seeing the sun rise and watching more decimation and feeling sorry for Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband who both looked awful.
P had booked us a hairdresser's appointment for 11 am so I missed the drama of Nigel Farage's result ("You missed the best bit," said J whose Maths teacher kept updating them on the results). I'm sorry Nigel but I don't really like some of your policies all that much although I do feel a bit sorry for you and three party leaders resigning within the hour???
Who can believe it?
"What if people have a last-minute panic about the economy and decide to vote Conservative and they get a majority?"
I stayed up to watch the results like I always do and there was the exit poll suggesting the Tories had done very well and there was everyone disbelieving it and Paddy Ashdown offering to eat his hat (I think the lesson we should all learn from this is never, ever offer to eat your hat).
People round here are referring to the result as 'The Shock' because whatever your political views it was a huge, unexpected shock like this can't be happening, I must have fallen asleep and it's all just a dream.
So I sat there watching and, having grown up with parents who were members of the Liberal Party and my dad having stood as a candidate, it was painful seeing the Liberal Democrats so decimated. I wasn't actually surprised that UKIP did so badly and SNP did so well but probably like most people I thought Labour would have done better.
Then I woke up at 4 am and realised I'd been dreaming that I was going to bed and then I felt I did want to go to bed so I did, waking P up and updating him "Told you so" he muttered. Then I couldn't get to sleep so after half an hour I got up, waking P again and sat there, listening to the birds singing and seeing the sun rise and watching more decimation and feeling sorry for Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband who both looked awful.
P had booked us a hairdresser's appointment for 11 am so I missed the drama of Nigel Farage's result ("You missed the best bit," said J whose Maths teacher kept updating them on the results). I'm sorry Nigel but I don't really like some of your policies all that much although I do feel a bit sorry for you and three party leaders resigning within the hour???
Who can believe it?
Monday 4 May 2015
Oops
After a busy morning yesterday - left for church 8.30 back home 14.00 (although did include lunch at Wetherspoons with few of others) was having a nice rest when
text from my brother:
'stuck in traffic'
Why are you telling me you're stuck in traffic?
Gradually a memory began to worm its way to the surface of my brain - a memory of my brother saying he was coming to stay the night on May 3rd.
"Er P..."
"J off the sofa now and help me tidy up please."
Normally when my brother comes P has prepared a huge meal so I had to admit I'd forgotten but I think P did very well to rustle up teriyaki chicken and rice for him at such short notice.
Anyway we had a very nice evening with him and played one of J's complicated board games (all J's board games are complicated because if they're not he changes the rules).
text from my brother:
'stuck in traffic'
Why are you telling me you're stuck in traffic?
Gradually a memory began to worm its way to the surface of my brain - a memory of my brother saying he was coming to stay the night on May 3rd.
"Er P..."
"J off the sofa now and help me tidy up please."
Normally when my brother comes P has prepared a huge meal so I had to admit I'd forgotten but I think P did very well to rustle up teriyaki chicken and rice for him at such short notice.
Anyway we had a very nice evening with him and played one of J's complicated board games (all J's board games are complicated because if they're not he changes the rules).
Welcome to our new princess
This is what I wrote on July 12 2013 when Prince George was about to be born:
'Ok this is my guess for the royal baby.
I think it's a girl and will be called Elizabeth or possibly Charlotte.'
Not bad for a girl's name guess eh? Just got them the wrong way round.
Such a good choice of second name I think and such a lovely little baby.
Aaah.
'Ok this is my guess for the royal baby.
I think it's a girl and will be called Elizabeth or possibly Charlotte.'
Not bad for a girl's name guess eh? Just got them the wrong way round.
Such a good choice of second name I think and such a lovely little baby.
Aaah.
Thursday 30 April 2015
Update
Well we are all better from our colds except P who's had a bit of an issue with his ear which made him quite deaf for a while so he kept going:"Sorry what did you say? Pardon?" every time J or I made any sort of noise which got a bit irritating. And he wanted the volume up too loud. It's getting better now, thankfully. I suppose that's what life is like all the time for some people though.
The solar repair man came and repaired the system and two days later it started leaking again. Sigh.
P is sanding our floor which I've beennagging him about suggesting he gets on with for ages so it's good but he's doing it but noisy. He wants to start a church housegroup in our house in September but I'm saying we have to get the floor done first.
J has started doing some Maths tutoring at school - helping a Year 8 girl who's in the lowest set. He quickly realised that she was trying - and failing - to do quite complex calculations in her head. When he got her to write it down step by step she started getting the answers right.
He's also started doing 'STEP' Maths after school one day a week which is an extra exam some unis want them to take - it's quite hard so a challenge for him.
J went to a Physics Masterclass at Cambridge last week which he really enjoyed.
I'm going to stop now because the computer keeps crashing and I don't want to lose what I've written.
The solar repair man came and repaired the system and two days later it started leaking again. Sigh.
P is sanding our floor which I've been
J has started doing some Maths tutoring at school - helping a Year 8 girl who's in the lowest set. He quickly realised that she was trying - and failing - to do quite complex calculations in her head. When he got her to write it down step by step she started getting the answers right.
He's also started doing 'STEP' Maths after school one day a week which is an extra exam some unis want them to take - it's quite hard so a challenge for him.
J went to a Physics Masterclass at Cambridge last week which he really enjoyed.
I'm going to stop now because the computer keeps crashing and I don't want to lose what I've written.
Wednesday 15 April 2015
Hot and cold
Been a bit unwell - can't seem to shake off this cold. Yesterday I went out all bundled up in a polo-neck, coat and woolly scarf while everyone else was in t-shirts and summer dresses. Weather has been lovely - just like summer.
Solar heating still not fixed - man can't come until next Tuesday. He's made a career out of going round fixing leaking solar systems which says something I think. The real problem with ours is that it's a bit too efficient at producing hot water and when we're away and not using the water the pressure gets too high and a pipe springs a leak. What we need is a permanent solution to this. Or else we never go away.
J been on another uni trip today, well it was a day hosted by one uni but there were representatives from several others speaking. He wasn't at all impressed with host uni but says he picked up several tips about the application process and personal statement.
"What were they?" I asked.
"Can't remember. I know them but I can't remember them if you know what I mean."
No, actually I haven't the faintest clue what you mean.
Solar heating still not fixed - man can't come until next Tuesday. He's made a career out of going round fixing leaking solar systems which says something I think. The real problem with ours is that it's a bit too efficient at producing hot water and when we're away and not using the water the pressure gets too high and a pipe springs a leak. What we need is a permanent solution to this. Or else we never go away.
J been on another uni trip today, well it was a day hosted by one uni but there were representatives from several others speaking. He wasn't at all impressed with host uni but says he picked up several tips about the application process and personal statement.
"What were they?" I asked.
"Can't remember. I know them but I can't remember them if you know what I mean."
No, actually I haven't the faintest clue what you mean.
Thursday 9 April 2015
Not complaining
My rib actually isn't all that bad - just uncomfortable to lie on that side. I'm not going to complain about it because my friend's husband had a horrible accident and smashed 10-12 of his ribs and was air-lifted to Intensive Care and that's a major ouch.
The moral is when you are using machinery don't wear loose clothing.
He said it felt like 10 minutes being whizzed round attached to the auger by his jumper.
Thankfully he is on the mend.
I'm also not complaining about my other aches and pains because I know several people who are going through chemo at the moment and I just really, really hope and pray that they're all going to be ok.
The moral is when you are using machinery don't wear loose clothing.
He said it felt like 10 minutes being whizzed round attached to the auger by his jumper.
Thankfully he is on the mend.
I'm also not complaining about my other aches and pains because I know several people who are going through chemo at the moment and I just really, really hope and pray that they're all going to be ok.
Wales
Well we've been in Wales, staying with my brother and family.
Great things about our trip:
Some not so great things:
Pictures to follow (not of the tantrums)
Great things about our trip:
- really easy journey there
- after the first day weather was nice and sunny
- three excellent services at wonderful Anglican church (P thinks vicar's wife is a distant relative!)
- celebrating my younger niece's 16th birthday
- amazing food cooked by my brother
- just enjoying being with my family
- coming second (to my older niece) in game of Risk - victory for the girls yay!
- P's amazing simnel cake
- neighbourhood hot cross bun contest
- seeing snowdrops, daffodils and primroses all out together
- having some interesting conversations with older niece's boyfriend, a politics student
- just relaxing in the garden listening to the birds singing
Some not so great things:
- all three of us having colds
- trailing the subtle fragrance of 'deep heat' round with me due to painful back (? due to wheelchair incident)
- having a slightly cracked rib - don't know how it happened
- simnel cake suffering a bit from tipping over on the journey
- eating too many hot cross buns
- just the occasional teenage tantrum
- traffic jams on way home resulting in 9 hour journey
- came home to house full of the smell of burning ethylene glycol - solar heating leaked again
- a little bit of a middle-age tantrum at having come home after 9 hour journey to stinky house and that solar heating's been nothing but trouble (P doesn't agree)
- Masterchef didn't record!
Pictures to follow (not of the tantrums)
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