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Thursday 28 April 2011

Church meeting

Last night we had our church AGM at which we reviewed the situation regarding the change of ministry. While several people said they thought things were going really well several of us also said we felt that we had some serious concerns, in fact it was surprising how many people did speak up & said what they thought. I think the leadership were a bit shaken up by it & while the situation is going to continue for another 6 months they are going to go away & have a major think about it.
It is all really, really difficult though.

Today

This morning I heard J's alarm go off but he didn't jump out of bed like he usually does. 'Must be tired,' I thought & let him lie in for a bit. Eventually I decided he really had to get up: 'Come on you need to get up now!'
Then I remembered. He wasn't there. He'd slept over at Tim's house.
Right.
So I got up in a nice leisurely manner & went round to pick up J. 'I forgot to bring my blazer,' he said.
Mad dash back home, raced to school taking long-cut to avoid traffic building up on road to school, dropped him off just in time. Hardly any petrol left, got lost finding way to petrol station up the road, then had to stop off at shop to buy new rubber gloves for my cleaner, then got caught up in traffic approaching junior school, arrived home to find cleaner waiting in garden. Really nice to have her here again, it's been weeks & house has descended into chaos.
Spent morning paying bills etc on computer. Then went to dentist. Truly horrendous time having a few fillings, including a bit of filling going into my eye! This was 7 hours ago, mouth still numb, tooth aching, misery.

Scooted round town after that looking at clothes but totally unable to find anything that suits me/fits me/I can afford. I'm just getting a bit bored with the jeans/track-suit top look which is what I automatically slip into every day.

Have been making plans for tomorrow - I'm going to watch THE WEDDING, J's going to the village street party in the afternoon & P's planning to head out somehere for the day.

Today J came second in the back-stroke swimming race at school, this was the bottom PE set competing but I still think he did really well considering the late start he's had at swinmming. I suppose it's an advantage being so tall though.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

Phoebe

Little Phoebe went to Heaven at 5 o'clock this morning.

Monday 25 April 2011

Happy Easter

Happy Easter everyone!

I honestly feel like throwing our computer out of the window because it is eating up too much of my life by taking so long to do everything & it won't let me post any pictures. P has arranged for an engineer to come round tomorrow & hopefully sort out our internet connection.

We had a nice quiet at home Easter, went to church, had Mavis to lunch, spent a lot of time on the phone to family & friends & went to 'other church' in the evening where it all got quite charismatic & to our astonishment Mavis, who'd come with us, enjoyed it.

Baby Phoebe is at home with her family, including grandparents. They are taking it in turns to stay up with her so she is never alone. They have medication to give her if she shows any sign of distress. They think perhaps her breathing is beginning to change & she is sleeping a bit more. Yesterday they took her to church & she was christened, something they never thought would happen.

I've just taken J swimming, the lady who owns the pool has decided to open it early this year. Adam & sister & Louise came too, nice to sit there in the sun with my feet in the pool. Thought J stayed in a bit too long, hope he's not too tired tomorrow when it's back to school.

On Friday P & J went up to London to see the Passion Play in Trafalgar Square, will post some photos when can get computer to do as it's told.

Don't tell anyone I've just eaten a Cadbury's caramel egg.

Friday 22 April 2011

Good Friday

Internet connection so poor don't know if this will publish.

Lovely day again. Have planted Bumble Bee seeds. Last night went to yummy Maundy Thursday supper & this morning to Good Friday service. Don't tell anyone but thought the sermon was just a bit boring, I saw 4 people who looked like they were asleep - downside of comfy chairs.

I am so missing the traditional Easter hymns, must be a sign of old age. But just seen an email where a rather assertive older lady has requested 'Christ the Lord Has Risen Today' for Sunday & they've said Yes. Yippee!!!

It's not that I don't like modern worship songs, I love them. I suppose it's nostalgia really because those hymns have just always been part of my life. Probably a bad attitude on my part somewhere here.

There was going to be a young people's sleepover on Saturday night with a dawn (literally) egg hunt & breakfast but it's been cancelled due to lack of support. J's really disappointed & so am I but a tiny part of me's relieved we won't have to deal with him being like a bear with a sore head on Sunday.

Phoebe's still hanging in there.

Birdies singing, butterflies flitting about, bluebells in the wood. Lovely.

Wednesday 20 April 2011

Good news

Phoebe has survived coming off the ventilator & is going home! The doctors say it's only a matter of time but it's so good her family are getting this precious time at home with her that they never thought they'd have.

It's a lovely sunny day here. J & I have been to coffee morning & got given Easter eggs. Tim might come round later. I'm trying to get J to help me plant some seeds for flowers which are meant to attract bumble bees. I'm also trying to set up a new household paperwork filing system. I'll see if , unlike all its predecessors, this one works.

Tuesday 19 April 2011

A sad time

On Sunday morning I got up early as we had a prayer meeting at 9 am. I think I mentioned that there's a lady at church (as in usual church) whose son & daughter in law were expecting a baby & it had been diagnosed as having a serious heart problem. The baby girl was to be delivered by caesarean yesterday. There had been some talk that they might try & operate but when I went into the meeting the news was that it was going to be palliative care only. I think we were all crying.
Today I heard that little Phoebe had been born alive and her parents feel this is a real answer to prayer as they had been desperately hoping they would get some time with her. Her breathing support was to be turned off today.
I can't even begin to imagine what they're going through.

Passover

The reason we're going for fair trade eggs (although I think we did last year as well) is that when we went to 'other church' on Sunday evening there was a 2 hour long service with someone speaking about trafficking. I didn't realise how much slavery there is in the chocolate industry. A lot of workers are recruited from long distances away then not paid at all & can't leave because they don't know how to get home & they're often beaten & treated badly as well.
So we're getting them from the Oxfam shop.

On Saturday night we went to the family housegroup at 'other church'. There was a passover theme, first we had a meal as usual, then we built a shelter, the children having first daubed red paint on the lintels (& on themselves), well when we say 'we built it' P & J played a major part but I sat & watched. Then we huddled inside & watched some of 'the Prince of Egypt' then we shared some unleavened bread & lamb & had some worship, sharing & prayer.

A good evening.

Mummy lion vindicated

Dad's back home now but still on loads of drugs.

Yesterday was J's appointment with the psychologist. She still thinks he's got a bit of ADD but now she thinks he's got a bit of dyslexia as well which has been masked because he's clever. In a way this is a relief because for a long time I've felt he has got some dyslexia. At least we know what we're dealing with now. And she will definitely recommend he gets extra time etc in exams & with a diagnosis of dyslexia allowance will be made for his spelling as well.
I'm really glad I did the mummy lion bit.

I also had a hospital appointment yesterday which went fine but we had to wait around for hours and I think the new multi-storey car park was designed by a sadist with a desire to see people driving round & round for their entire lives trying to find the exit.

Today J & I went into town with the primary objective of getting him some new school shoes & a secondary objective of buying some Easter eggs. This morning I made out a shopping list with all the other things I realised I needed & was so proud that I'd managed to get everything on it although sadly when we got to the Oxfam shop where we planned to buy some fair trade eggs it had closed but I thought P can always pick them up as the shop's opposite his work. J wanted a new wii game & as he'd saved up enough money he got that as well. I bought some envelopes & posted the letter I'd been putting off writing since September but had actually written this morning. All very satisfying. Then we picked up P. 'You got the shoes ok?' he asked.
'No, no, no we didn't get the shoes, we forgot the shoes, aaagh & by then the shop was shut so we are going to have to go back again, aaaagh...'

What we've been realising since J's been diagnosed with ADD is we both have some symptoms of it as well (I think P also has a bit of dyslexia), when it comes to the forgetful bit I think I've definitely got it or is it just old age?

Friday 15 April 2011

Visiting Dad

Today we went to see Dad in hospital. He's doing ok really, on a lot of drugs which are helping a lot with pain but making him a bit confused. Going to be in a few more days then hopefully should be able to go home.

Called in on Dad's wife (very yappy dog!) & also to a model aeroplane shop.

Went through a lot of places that brought back memories today.

The hospital Dad's in is where I used to work & also where Mum died. Also went past two houses where I lived & alongside river & beach where used to take Rusty for walkies.

This seems to have been memory week.

Knocked my sore arm on car door handle today & it HURTS. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Stopped at pub for nice meal on way home. P & I were very good, we shared an apple crumble rather than having one each.

Long journey, tired, going to bed.

Thursday 14 April 2011

Dad's not well

I just got a phone-call to say my dad's in hospital. He's got bad sciatica & an infection somewhere but they don't know where.


Mum the nicotine addict

On Tuesday J & I made brownies together which was good fun. I used the opportunity to have one of those talks about alcohol, sex, smoking, drugs etc cos for some reason when we're doing thoings together he actually talks to me. In the course of this I told him that when I was at university I tried smoking & smoked a total of 6 cigarettes then gave up. He was totally shocked. 'Mum how could you do something so stupid??! I'm going to tell Dad!'
It was only 6 cigarettes!

On Wednesday J & 3 friends met up at one boy's house. This boy lives a couple of miles from the school in the opposite directio ie a long way. J asked me to pick up one boy on the way, well not really on the way at all, more like a 10 mile detour. I worked out the route but then there were roadworks & the road was closed & we got lost. Altogether it was an hour and a half of driving by the time I got back home. Can't help feeling this is the shape of things to come.



Monday

On Monday we went on a trip to a village we used to visit a lot when I was young. In fact the last time I was there I was 19 & just about to go to university. A lot of memories!

We had a bit of a mishap there when J was pushing my wheelchair, tripped & let go of the handles. I didn't realise what had happened so didn't try & brake & the wheelchair ran up onto a sloping flower-bed & tipped over. In that awful moment when I realised I was going to fall the thought running through my head was 'I've got osteoporosis something's going to break.' Thankfully it didn't & my arm's just badly bruised. Poor J felt really bad about it so I was trying not to make a fuss about it. A few moments later I started getting zig-zags in front of my eyes like I was getting a migraine (which I haven't had for years), must have been the shock. I was really worried I'd get a bad headache which wouldn't be good so far from home but thankfully it didn't happen.

Apart from that we had a nice time & ended up in a tea-room again.

Sunday 10 April 2011

Honesty

I had this bizarre phone conversation with someone from church who said she doesn't agree with all the changes (as in ministry) but she doesn't want to be the one who sticks her neck out & says so so she's found an excuse to go to another church & she might come back when everything's settled down. She did come along to church this morning as she wanted to just check out how things are going & I said why doesn't she come along to the church meeting & say what she really thinks & she said she doesn't feel entitled now she hardly comes & I said yes she is entitled & if she doesn't say it then nobody will know & she said well she'll think about it. Somehow get the feeling she won't be there.

So is it better to be honest & say what you think & risk everyone not liking you or is it better to say everything's fine & just slip away?

At the end of the day though you do have to live with yourself.


Weekend

My heart & breathing are a bit better but now I've got a really bad back, probably due to picking up the laundry basket the other day. Never mind.

Yesterday it was such a sunny day we went to the sea-side, taking J's friend Tim with us. When we got there there was quite a cold wind so we didn't stay all that long (although some people were in bikinis!). The boys had a run along the sand & we went along the pavement as wheelchair + sand isn't an easy combination. We then headed off to a museum which had a really nice tea-room, Tim got a little jar of jam with his scone & was thrilled at being allowed to take the remains home with him.

This morning the new chairs were in church. We're all having to decide on new places to sit - marking out our new territory. The chairs are quite comfy, actually the lady next to me was dropping off.

I'm not going to post pictures until we've got the carpet as well so you can see it all finished.

Exam mess-up

When J came out of his Science exam he & the others were discussing the questions. 'Oh no,' said one of his friends, 'I don't remember any of those questions, I must have turned over 2 pages by mistake!' During the next Science lesson the teacher asked which questions they'd found easy or hard. 'The question on gears was easy,' said one girl. 'There wasn't a question on gears,' said the teacher. Slowly the terrible truth dawned - some pupils had been given the wrong exam paper. Instead of getting the one for the top set they'd been given one for the lower sets. Oops!
They can't just do the correct paper now as the others have told them what the questions are so they'll probably just have to be marked on the easier one. Good job they were only mock exams.

Exam stress

Last week J had exams. These involved a lot of nagging from me about actually doing some work & not assuming he can bluff his way through. He said afterwards I was right & he was glad he'd learnt some science.

Two weeks before the exams the Special Needs co-ordinator phoned me & said if he was to have extra time & laptop in exams like he usually has we would need another psychologist's report. This was actually the first time I've got to speak to her despite requesting it several times. I pointed out that I couldn't get a report in 2 weeks. She said she didn't think J could get extra support then as if the psychologist said he didn't need it he'd have got used to it & how would he cope in his external exams? I said the psychologist would only say he didn't need it if he didn't need it & then he'd be ok as he didn't need it & in the mean time could he have it. She said she didn't know & he was doing fine anyway & meeting his targets. I sort of flipped & went into mummy lion protecting her cub mode & said it wasn't about meeting targets it was about achieving potential & just cos J's bright shouldn't mean he doesn't get the support he needs & it might have been nice if she'd responded when I first contacted the school to discuss his needs & she said yes I was right so I said could he have the laptop & extra time & she said she didn't know.

What I did then was contact the teacher who's in charge of the Gifted & Talented stuff & is also a deputy head & he got it sorted & J got his extra time & laptop. I'm probably not the SENCO's flavour of the month but like I said, mummy lion...

What we have to do now is pay through the nose for another psychologist's report.

Wednesday 6 April 2011

Downside of chocolate

Lovely sunny day today. One of those days when I wonder if I should start getting out my summer clothes.

Have come to sad conclusion that eating chocolate makes my heart beating too fast situation worse. Yesterday ate some of chocs P bought me for Mother's Day & last night heart crazy so didn't sleep well so not up to much today all of which would have made it sensible not to have eaten any chocolate today but...

Must get a grip.

Sunday 3 April 2011

My baby's growing up

I felt pretty rough yesterday, feel a bit better today but didn't go to church. J brought home some pretty pink candles as a Mother's Day pressie.

Yesterday J, Tim & Adam all went into town by themselves, wandered around the shops, bought themselves rolls for lunch then went to the cinema & got the bus home.

My baby's growing up. In fact he's even beginning to get a little bit of a moustache.

Saturday 2 April 2011

Trip to hospital

For the last couple of weeks I've been feeling a bit short of breath but trying to pretend it isn't happening. On Wednesday night it was keeping me awake & I began to panic & went to the doctor the next morning. She couldn't find anything oobviously wrong but sent me for some blood tests & said to go back next day to see a different doctor for a second opinion (really inspires confidence). My appointment was for 5 0'clock, saw very thorough doctor who spent ages examining me & said I had to go the hospital just to make sure there weren't any blood clots on my lungs. So went home, quickly ate dinner, we dropped J at Adam's house so they could take him to youth club then drove 10 miles to hospital. There for hours having all sorts of tests which all proved to be normal which is good! They were umming & aahing a bit as to whether I should stay there but to my great relief they let me go. Louise picked up J from youth club & he slept over at their house as we didn't get home until 12 o'clock. Exhausted!
So I don't know why I feel short of breath. Can only assume it will get better or else will become worse so I'll know what problem is. J has been a bit under the weather, wonder if it could be a bug I've picked up from him making me feel like this.

P went out to get new tyre for car this morning & then J phoned saying he wasn't well come & get him now. A short while later he phoned to say could he go ice-skating with Adam & Tim?!!
I'm letting P sort this one out. My concern is that J has his exams next week & I want him fit & healthy & to have done some revision.