Update

Sorry been a bit of a blog gap. 

During this interval we went to visit J and had a lovely time with him, in fact it felt as if we'd never been apart. We did what most uni visiting parents seem to do - took him some frozen home cooked food, took him out to a restaurant and then to a supermarket to get some shopping. He seems to have settled in and to be enjoying uni life. I don't want to say too much about him cos he probably doesn't want me to. If you read this J I'm really proud of you.

I also have been properly pedalling on the exercise bike at physio. It felt great - like being back on a real bike again and speeding downhill. In fact he says I'll only need one more physio session. Can't believe I've made it this far. It feels a bit like a dream. I'm going to see the consultant at the hospital soon, hoping he'll sign me off. There are a lot of really good things about our local hospital (the best being the coffee shop) but I'd kind of like to stop being a patient there.

After the physio yesterday I meant to rest today but instead I ended up vacuuming our bedroom and overdid it, just hope I don't suffer for it.

Pedal power

Well today I must admit I have been missing J. We have texted each other, we have even spoken on the phone but I still miss him because he's not actually here. Today he's been to a lecture, cooked a couple of meals, bought two house plants and is now out enjoying himself. He's fine, he's in a new exciting phase of life and I've been suddenly propelled into a new phase too in which I had all sorts of plans to be positive and proactive and get on with things but mostly I've felt exhausted and like it's all a bit unreal.

Anyway something really good happened today. I went to physio. I went in the gym. I went on the exercise bike on which I have been pedalling part of the way round then gone part of the way round the other way but couldn't imagine doing a whole revolution cos it would hurt so much. But today I was getting almost there and then my physio was saying "Go on you can do it keep pushing" (has he ever thought of being a midwife?) and then it happened - I did it - I pedalled all the way round! I mean wow! I can pedal a bike! It hurts but like he says "It's only pain."

Yay!

The possibilities...

Over the Severn

This was us returning from Wales to England blissfully ignorant of the traffic jams ahead. It was nice to spend time with my family in Wales. Wish we lived closer.

Nice view?

The view from the cabin could have been a bit better though.

Good time in Ireland

This is Glendalough in Ireland. It's a very beautiful place and I've been there many times, the last about ten years ago. We went there with my uncle when we were over a couple of weeks ago and it had changed dramatically - there is now a visitor's centre with some very interesting displays and the tourists were arriving in coach loads. With so many people from different countries it was interesting comparing different nationalities and I have to say the Irish were by far the friendliest although the Americans scored pretty highly on helpfulness. Anyway, after those sweeping generalisations made from such a small sample, we had a very nice time in Ireland and it didn't rain until our very last day when it rained. We had several interesting days out and visited an exhibition on the famine and a workhouse museum and learnt some more about some of the terrible things that have happened in Ireland's past. Something I found really hard was how they split families up in the workhouse. I mean why? I know they wanted life to be harder in there than it was outside but why be that cruel?

When learning about Irish history it sometimes feels really strange being half English and half Irish.

Anyway as well as that we saw some beautiful scenery, wandered round lovely gardens and ate a lot of delicious food (love the food in Ireland), met up with family in a posh hotel in Dublin, me not having any smart clothes with me so turned up in my fleece, said an emotional goodbye to my 86 year old uncle, stayed in a really nice B&B on the last night so we'd be closer to the ferry and as the boat pulled into the harbour I saw my first ever seal and dolphins.

All in all a good time.

Chocolate making

Well I managed the 40 days without chocolate. I hoped that would give me a permanent dislike for the stuff but it hasn't quite worked out like that. In fact yesterday I made some which turned out to be delicious but very strong and rich (cocoa content about 100%) and I think is probably healthier than the bought stuff in that there is less sugar, no unnecessary 'artificial ingredients', must have lots of anti-oxidants and it's so rich you can't eat very much.

I love cooking but I always end up walking around the kitchen more than I should and my feet ache afterwards, in fact last night they felt like they were on fire and I got up at 2 am and put them in a bowl of cold water. What I'm wondering is if I could rearrange things in the kitchen so that I don't have to walk so much.

This evening we went to the cinema, I don't know why we thought going in the rush hour was a good idea and we ended up having a coffee and going into the next viewing because we were so late. Then we came home to an empty house which felt very strange. Then I watched Bake Off and fell asleep so I think I'll have to watch it again, or maybe not.

J off to uni

Quite a lot has happened over the last few weeks like we've been on holiday - to Wales and Ireland - and we've dropped J off at uni.

It was pouring with rain when we got to the uni but we were pleased that he had a downstairs room near the entrance with a disabled parking space right outside. On a good day I could even walk in. He has a very nice room with a large desk and an ensuite bathroom (wasn't like that in my day). He was soon happily assembling his computer and it wasn't too much of a problem that we hadn't brought the extension lead - when I saw it on the ironing board I thought someone had just forgotten to put it away - oops. Actually the couple of days between getting back from holiday and going to uni were a teeny bit on the chaotic side especially when we couldn't find his vaccination card which proves he's had the meningitis jab which he needed to bring. However the night before he went I woke up at 2 am and realised I'd actually put it in the new file I'd got for his documents but in a slot at the back then I'd labelled another slot 'medical'. Sigh.

I and most people who know me have been quite reasonably expecting me to be a soggy heap sobbing in a corner at this point in my life and it is hard - I was a bit weepy when we said goodbye and even though I was in the act of texting him as I walked through our door into a J-less house I still burst into tears. But seeing how happy and excited he was and what a nice room he's got has made it easier. I get these moments though when it just sorts of hits me that he's not here any more.

We have had a lot of texts - relating to what should he have for dinner, how to fry an egg, which church he should go to (settled on what he called a 'sort of Anglican one'), and er... how to wash up. Ok, we have a dishwasher,  when confronted by a sink, a sponge and a bottle of washing up liquid he didn't know what to do. Wonder if that qualifies me for some sort of bad mother award.