Chocolate update

I think it's only ten days to go now and I'm hanging in there.

Knee update

Knee is doing well. Saw physio on Friday and he was really pleased with it. Also had dressing changed so I saw the clips - like a line of about 20 metal rings, all very neat and the wound is healing well so all looking good.

Endings and beginnings

I really do love this time of year and it's showing signs of being an amazing autumn.  September always has a sense of excitement for me perhaps it's linking back to school days when at the beginning of each new year I would think 'Perhaps this year it will be better.' Sometimes it was, sometimes it quite spectacularly wasn't (thinks of Sixth Form Biology teacher and shudders).

Well we have a new beginning coming up as J will soon be heading off to uni which is hugely exciting for him but sort of mixed feelings for me. I will miss him hugely and have had some wobbly moments when I wallow in thoughts like 'It's the end of his childhood, have I done enough to equip him for the big wide world and I wish I'd been healed before he grew up (bit of an ouch one that). Then I get a grip and ok, I will be sad when he goes, there will definitely be moments but there is a huge amount for which to be thankful  - that he has the opportunity to go to uni for a start. I met a woman in hospital recently and something terribly tragic had happened to her family, so sad that I thought 'I'm going to pray for you every day for the rest of my life' and well, her daughter will never have that chance to go to college.

So keeping things in perspective he's off to uni, I'm really thankful and happy for him and we are going to visit him a few weeks after he starts (to take him anything he's forgotten) so it's really just a separation for a short time and before we know it he'll be home for Christmas. 

And in a way it is a new beginning for us too. And we have plans.

Operation day

Well I turned up at the hospital at 7 am for my operation. The anaesthetist came and saw me. The consultant came and drew an arrow on my leg to make sure they operated on the right one. A nurse came and 'admitted me' . I changed into my natty hospital gown and got into bed and started reading my book.

Another patient, 'Sheila', turned up and after a brief chat fell fast asleep.

I carried on reading.

Three hours later another patient arrived and was quick to get into her gown and into bed. Sadly the hospital were almost as quick to cancel her operation. She was in her gown, in bed and they cancelled her. I told her that I'd previously been cancelled so she would understand why they'd chosen her instead of me and reassured her they had to do it within 28 days as she was already in hospital. Felt so sorry for her.

Lay there reflecting that if more trauma cases turned up I too could be cancelled. Snuggled under the sheets in the hope that the bed manager wouldn't notice me.

Then read some more. Thanks Bill Bryson for making me laugh.

Hours passed.

Sheila went to theatre.

I read some more.

I grew hungrier.

I read some more.

I tried to sleep.

I read some more.

I grew hungrier and thirstier.

I read some more.

I began to feel really weak,

A nurse came and said they had started the afternoon operations.

I read some more.

I heard someone come into the ward and call my name. Yes! I put my book away and rescued my pillow which had fallen on the floor.

Anothe patient was wheeled past the door. It must have been somebody with a name similar to mine. I picked up my book. A woman in a blue theatre gown walked in:

"I've come to take you to theatre."

It was eight hours since I'd come in, twenty one hours since I'd eaten and nine and a half since I'd had a drink. I wasn't at my best but I had to have an operation.

After a quick journey to the theatre a cannula was put into my hand and a cold liquid sensation began to travel up my arm...

I half opened my eyes.

"Your arm's gone blotchy, must have been when we put the morphine in," a blue-gowned man was saying.

Who was he, where was I and why did it matter if my arm was blotchy?

"My knee hurts!"

More injeccting of drugs, more muttering then whizzing along the corridor to the ward.

More drugs, pain still bad. 

"You're staying in tonight," said a nurse.

Consultant appeared at the end of my bed.

"My knee hurts, you told me it wouldn't hurt but it's as bad as when I first broke it."

At this point I was a bit 'off my head' with all the painkillers.

"Well I did take out the metalwork, bent it to 130 degrees and there was a lot of scar tissue which ripped," he said as if to say what did you expect?

 "130 degrees?"

He'd said he'd bend it a little.

"Stay in tonight," said the consultant.
"Told you," said the nurse.

So I stayed in overnight in a bay with Sheila and another lady called 'Pat' and  P and J came in to see me and eventually the pain was under control and I got some sleep but kept being woken up (why did the staff have to talk so loudly?) and the nurses were lovely and Sheila and Pat and I got on really well and my blood pressure crashed in the morning and there was a frustrating episode with a physio who could hardly speak English and bullied me a bit, well quite a lot I think, even though she didn't seem to know anything about me at all but I won't go into that. I had roast chicken for lunch then P came and got me and I asked the nurses about after-care and exercises and they said to go and get the clips taken out in twelve days and I'll have a follow up appointment at the end of October and I asked about exercises and they looked blank then said "Try and bend your knee a bit and if it hurts you've overdone it."

I looked on another hospital's website and they give patients who've had my op seven pages of advice and exercises.

Anyway it hurt a lot for a couple of days, I felt sick and dizzy until yesterday. Now it hardly hurts, the horrible sharp stabs of pain have gone. The bruising is beginning to come out so it's multi-coloured. I am exercising my quads and bending my knee as much as possible using ice and heat as necessary but managing without painkillers. Feeling confident that it will bend more and more as the internal swelling and bruising goes down.

All in all looking good.

Thank You Lord. 

Operation tomorrow

Operation tomorrow. 

Trying to imagine how my leg will feel like afterwards. Will there be much pain? What will it be like without the pins and wires in it? Will I be able to bend my knee better?

Watch this space.

Lunch with a friend and I can make pyjamas

Yesterday met up with a friend from previous church for lunch. Meeting up with people not at all simple when you have mobility issues but P drove me to town and he and J went off to lunch elsewhere and to do a bit of shopping for uni. I was able to use my scooter to get to cafe and had a great time together and said must do it more often. Yay.

P and J got kitchen stuff they wanted but didn't do so well on clothes - not easy when you have 37 inch legs. I offered to make J some pyjamas and they both laughed. I can. I can make pyjamas. Talking of which, after a lot of issues - like that when I first tried them on the wouldn't go over my hips, I finished making my trousers and, after some modification, they are very comfortable.

Birdsong

Here is a video in which I tried to record the birds singing. Crunching noise at the end is the wheelchair beginning to roll before I'd finished.

Lovely day in late summer

Funny how one person's walk on a late summer day laughing at the dancing butterflies, marvelling at the irridescent wings on the dragonflies and transported almost to another dimension by the shimmering sparkles of light on the water is another person's boring old reservoir with nothing to do.

I told you you could stay at home if you wanted.

Said person rather mollified by fish and chips and ice cream and finding a really good buy in a second hand bookshop.

Day 21

Day 21 and hanging in there. Did find myself looking longingly at a packet of Revels but doing ok.