Well today I must admit I have been missing J. We have texted each other, we have even spoken on the phone but I still miss him because he's not actually here. Today he's been to a lecture, cooked a couple of meals, bought two house plants and is now out enjoying himself. He's fine, he's in a new exciting phase of life and I've been suddenly propelled into a new phase too in which I had all sorts of plans to be positive and proactive and get on with things but mostly I've felt exhausted and like it's all a bit unreal.
Anyway something really good happened today. I went to physio. I went in the gym. I went on the exercise bike on which I have been pedalling part of the way round then gone part of the way round the other way but couldn't imagine doing a whole revolution cos it would hurt so much. But today I was getting almost there and then my physio was saying "Go on you can do it keep pushing" (has he ever thought of being a midwife?) and then it happened - I did it - I pedalled all the way round! I mean wow! I can pedal a bike! It hurts but like he says "It's only pain."
Yay!
The possibilities...
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