Imagine you are writing a textbook for doctors on how to sensitively break bad new to patients. Is this how you would write the section on 'how to tell someone they've got severe osteoporosis of the spine'?

'Right, so you're here about your bone scan result. Well the scan on your spine showed that your bone density is minus 3 standard deviations below the average for a 21 year old woman. You don't understand what that means? Well, do you know what standard deviation is? Good. Well if you were to look at a Gaussian curve for bone density for women of your age, you know what a Gaussian curve is? Good. Well anyway where your bone density would be is way outside the average, in the bottom 2%, which means you have a severely osteoporitic spine. So anytime you fall you could easily break a bone and if for instance, you stepped off a stool you could crush a vertebra which would be very painful but at least you wouldn't be paralysed like someone who breaks their back in a motorbike crash.
Oh, dear, do you need a tissue? You look like you weren't expecting to hear this, the good news is that your hip isn't as bad as your back, it's only half way to osteoporosis. So you need to start on treatment, take these tablets twice a day and these once a week, you have to take them with a large glass of water and remain upright without eating for 30 minutes otherwise you could get a stricture of your oesophagus which could require surgery.
Look, there are a lot of medical conditions which are a lot worse, at least you're not confined to bed and lead a normal life. You don't lead a normal life? Never mind, do the best you can. Just accept this has happened and make the best of it.
Are you ok? You seem a bit down today. You weren't feeling down until you came in here?
Ok then, come back in a couple of weeks.'

My doctor is barmy!!!