I don't know if you remember I mentioned the children's home that our church supports & there was a little boy who was badly burned. I just got the sad news that he's died. He had seemed to be doing so well up to now & he was so brave, I don't know what happened, perhaps he got an infection. It's all really sad anyway.
This has been a week when I haven't really had much of a grip, have been doing a lot of moping, some sleeping, a fair amount of struggling to make sense of things & a little bit of still managing to hold on & trust in God. Well, ok deep down I do trust in God, all the time. It's just sometimes I feel like I'm in a long dark tunnel & it's not a tunnel I want to be in & I know I'll come to the end of it but I don't know when & it's really hard not knowing when that'll be but when I try & tell people what the tunnel's like they don't understand & sometimes they get cross with me as if being in the tunnel is where I've chosen to be.
Part of the reason this week has been difficult is that I phoned the surgery for my bone scan result & the receptionist looked at it & said 'You really need to see the doctor.' This simply isn't encouraging. I suspected my bones might not be very strong after 15 years of no exercise but it's still a shock. I've got an appointment for Monday so I'll find out how bad it is then.