Good match

Just been watching Dustin Brown beating Leyton Hewitt. Amazing match. Wanted them both to win.

Miracles

Talking of church a few weeks ago we had a special healing meeting and this woman was healed of a degenerative nerve condition she'd had for 19 years. Really she was. I saw it happen in front of my eyes. She could hardly walk when she came in and was all hunched and miserable looking and she went out running and jumping and smiling. Praise the Lord!

Ok this is a strange thing - how long have I been ill? 19 years. So people are thinking why was she healed and I wasn't? But I was prayed for that day and I felt I made a tiny step forwards. A mini-miracle is as much of a miracle as a major miracle.

Some of us crawl up the mountain and some go up in the cable car.

God has His plans and purposes for all of us and I'm trusting Him.

Fix your eyes...

I keep asking myself: could I have done more to try and get on with Dad's wife? Almost certainly yes.
In the end would it have made much difference? Almost certainly no.

There are a lot of issues here to do with grief, pain and rejection and no quick or easy answers.

Life just doesn't always work out how you want.

Do you know what I feel God's been saying to me in this? That the enemy is using it as a distraction to keep me from what I should be doing. So in spite of how upset I feel I need to keep my gaze fixed on Him and what He's doing in my life and in our new church.

Stressful situation

I've been unsure whether to blog about this but nobody will read it who will take offence and it's a major issue in my life right now.

This really difficult situation has arisen at the root of which is the fact that Dad's wife really dislikes me. (I'm reluctant to use the word 'hate' but it would probably be appropriate). This may suggest that we've had unpleasant words but the truth is we haven't. She's always been perfectly pleasant to my face. Last time we visited, in April last year, we chatted about her new steam-mop as we left. That was possibly the last conversation we'll ever have.

A few months ago Dad phoned and said if we visited again she and her children would go out.

Some massive rows between various family members ensued as a result of which Dad and I actually came to a better place in our relationship but his wife refused to budge. In April, on the way to visit my brother, he stayed here a night and took us out for a meal which all went very well.

Last night he phoned and said much as he enjoyed it he was exhausted afterwards and he's not very well at the moment. Really now we have no option but to go to his house. He said his wife has said she'll make us a meal then go out before we get there. Er, think we'll bring our own food thanks.

What's shocked me is the realisation that she's never wanted our relationship to work. For various reasons (like Mum had only been dead 6 months when they got engaged) things didn't get off to an easy start but I've really tried to be nice to her and felt we'd come a long way. Now it's obvious she simply wishes that I didn't exist. I've said I'm prepared to sit down and discuss any issues she has but she doesn't want to know.

What's making me angry is that Dad's being hurt by her attitude. All she had to do was once or twice a year  be polite and friendly to us. In order to save hurting someone she loves was it really too much to ask?

Inside she must be a really damaged and hurting person to behave like this and I can forgive her and pray for her but it's all been really horrible.

My family really took it on board when I told them the doctor said I should avoid stress.

Punctual awakening

Slept badly last night. Was woken by J telling me he has been doing research into the use of the semicolon and do I know there are three types of irony?

Spent the day at the maze sitting in the car while P mapped it out. Lovely sunny day and nice view but got a bit bored.

Very tired this evening.

Are my front teeth getting longer?

Ok not doing so well at blogging. Must try harder.

Have been watching Wimbledon. Poor Nadal. His knee's obviously troubling him.

Fingers not too good so can't type too much.

Last Saturday went to wedding. Really lovely. Bride beautiful. Her sister managed to be bridesmaid despite having second baby 7 days before. Vows very moving. Groom cried on way out. Good time at reception. All very nice. Think my jacket's a bit too bright.

On Friday had friend from church to dinner, went very well.

Yesterday went crabbing with 'family housegroup' or rather kids and men crabbed. Women sat shivering. Men and kids enjoyed it. Not sure about women. Or crabs. They did get thrown back in though.

I'm trying to help J with English. Better I don't mention what he got in his English mock. Trouble is he's now pointing out all my grammar and punctuation errors.

P has been busy planting lots of vegetables. We're eating lots of lettuce. Feel like a rabbit.