The rodents in our village must have been worried yesterday. The school newsletter advertised the carols in the pub which would 'be followed by mulled wine & mice pies'! We ended up not going which was a shame really. P had said he thought he felt well enough to go so I declined lift someone offered me, I had a bath & was all ready then he said he didn't feel up to it. J said he didn't want to go anyway.
J in really hyped up over-excited pre Christmas mood after school yesterday. He & P got Christmas lights out & strung them from balustrade, they do look quite good. For the first time I'm beginning to feel Christmassy. Right now I'm playing a Christmas CD while P & J sit under the lovely lights doing a jigsaw. (In reality they're actually both in a bit of a bad mood cos P still feels a bit rotten & J came home from nativity rehearsal at church saying he wants to quit as it's stupid & babyish & not a proper play. I said that's fine none of us'll go to church tomorrow I'll just email minister & tell him why which took wind completely out of his sails so he's grudgingly agreed to take part. P's now saying he's not sure he's up to church anyway but there is slight problem that he's supposed to be doing sound system. We'll see. J's just started singing along to 'Winter Wonderland' - sweet!)
What I wish I had energy to do is make Christmas cake & mince pies which is a bit strange as I hate mince pies. I'd just like to be able to do that sort of stuff. Perhaps next year!
Really felt God saying to me to forgive some of people at church for some of things that have happened lately, started really crying, I think the feeling that there's quite a lot of stuff I'm going through that they just don't understand is huge. But that's just the way life is sometimes, sometimes you're in a pit that the people around you just haven't been in & they can't understand. Psalm 40 says :

'I waited patiently for the Lord
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.' (NIV)

And that's what I'm going to do, wait patiently for him cos he's going to make it alright.

What I'm wondering right now is how to stop J from scowling during nativity tomorrow.