What I am trying to get through to J is that in the whole decision-making process concerning his senior school education the type of trainers they are allowed to wear for PE simply doesn't feature very highly.
We went round the local grammar school on Monday which simply wasn't a pleasant experience. I had phoned them up & said I would be in a wheelchair & was told that there were some parts of the school I wouldn't be able to see. Anyway between us getting out of the car & arriving at the door there was a torrential downpour & as I hadn't anything to put over my legs they got soaked. I looked as if someone had thrown a bucket of water over me. After battling with a complex security system while waiting in the rain a receptionist appeared, looked at me & said 'Lady in the wheelchair I told you we couldn't accommodate you!' I replied that that wasn't what I'd been told & I'd got no intention of staying out in the rain so we managed to get up the three steps to the side door & while P & J went up 2 flights of stairs for the headmaster's talk in the library I stayed in the corridor. This corridor was very shabby & I got very cold, being just yards from an open door (what's the point of a complex security system at the front door if the side door, leading onto the street, is wide open?) Teachers kept walking past & enquiring in public school accents if I was ok & eventually the deputy head stopped & asked if I wanted to ask him anything about the school, which was nice of him. I did think of asking 'Have you heard of the Disability Discrimination Act?' but thought perhaps not. I asked him about sport & he said 'If your son's good at sport he'll do fine here' & I said that no, actually I was asking because he isn't good at sport. Then I asked if they put the children into sets & he said no because they were all of a high standard. I asked him about special needs & told him about J's writing problem but how he really is intelligent underneath it all & I could see by his expression that intelligent children are two a penny to them. 'He'll have to get through entrance exam first' he said. He didn't say 'Of course we'd do our best to support him.' Then P & J came down with 2 boys to show us round downstairs & J was in a real sulk because he 'didn't like the architecture' & they'd said he couldn't wear black soled trainers (does it matter, for goodness sake!). He had a totally miserable face & would only reply to questions in monosyllables, despite my whispered admonitions.
As we went round we saw an empty hall downstairs & I thought the headmaster could have done his talk down there, just for once. Comprehensive was much nicer to me.
By the end J did concede there are some good points about the school. It is one of the top schools in the country, teaching is undeniably of a very high standard & they get very good results but even if he got in it just wouldn't work for J.
That's one school off the list anyway.