Bit of a sad time

Sadly J doesn't have a grandma, my Mum died suddenly in 1994 and never knew any of her grandchildren. P's mum died when J was three so he only just remembers her. When we moved here our neighbour Dorothy became very much a Grandma to him and was very generous, so much so that we became concerned she might spoil him as she gave him so many toys.

Last year she was diagnosed as having breast cancer but she had always been one of those people who sail through life hardly troubled by anything and it was the same with this. She said she'd had a good innings and had been given tablets to slow it down and never mentioned it again. Then at the beginning of May she began to get short of breath and one Tuesday when I returned from the church house group she'd left a message on our phone to say she'd got worse and had called the doctor and he was sending her to hospital. I phoned P and we rushed in to see her. She was on oxygen but otherwise was her normal self and was very concerned at having to miss a birthday party the next day. Due to the birthday we couldn't manage to get in to see her the following day. As we went into the ward on the Thursday I realised I'd forgotten her bit of birthday cake. Then we saw a group of very concerned staff gathered round a very sick patient and I knew she wouldn't be needing the cake.

When we went in the next day one of the staff saw us and whispered to the staff nurse who asked us to come into the side room. And I knew I should stop her talking because it was really obvious what had happened but somehow I couldn't open my mouth and I let her carry on talking about Dorothy who was always so kind, so generous, so helpful, so cheerful. I let her carry on until she said that Dorothy had been on her way down for a scan when she'd taken a turn for the worse and before they could get her back to bed she had gone.

As she had no family we had to organise the funeral which turned into quite a grand affair. She had worked for the fire service & they had a guard of honour for her at the crematorium. She had a lot of friends so there was a good crowd there and also at the church service afterwards.

It's still hard to believe she's gone, I still find myself looking out for her head at the kitchen window as I pass her house.

Shortly afterwards I heard that one of my uncles in Ireland had died. Sadly his funeral had happened before they got hold of me because my other uncle had got my phone number wrong. But at the time we were all so ill I don't know if we could have made it.

It's been a bit of a sad time really.