Today was a crash day. As in a day when the M.E,/CFS gets the upper hand and my muscles turn to jelly and my brain is full of feathers. As in can't do anything much physical, can't do anything much intellectual. As in end up in bed watching cat videos.
I knew though, I knew I had been pushing myself too hard but I still did it, thought I'd get away with it, didn't. Several insomnia nights and too much activity .Hope I'll get over it quickly.
Have got a bit of a runny nose. Last thing I need when operation might be soon.
Any cold viruses trying to attack me you can just shrivel up and die.
Saturday, 30 July 2016
Friday, 29 July 2016
Ouch
Today is the anniversary of breaking my knee. If I could go back in time I would do that day a bit differently - not go into the bedroom to change my shoes, not put my slipper boots on, pick up that bag from the floor before it could loop itself around my ankle...
But here I am a year on and in a lot of pain at times. The operation was meant to be July 2nd, I was all psyched up for it, doing the Octenisan anti-bacterial regime - showering and washing my hair in special stuff and clean flannel, towels, nightwear, bedding and clothes every day, well I do normally put on clean clothes but the rest... a lot of laundry. Anyway there I was the afternoon before, dressing gown washed, most of my stuff packed, trying to stay calm when the phone rang - the operation was cancelled. Only good thing about this was that my brother was visiting so I could enjoy his company, eat a big dinner and go to bed late.
I expected the new date to be soon but it's in September. In the mean time I've been getting agonising stabs of pain in my knee - so bad that I cry out however hard I try not to. The physio has strapped it up which has helped but he said to take strapping off when I saw consultant yesterday - cue a yowl of pain in the waiting room when P accidentally jiggled wheelchair.
I went into the consultant's office.
"What are you doing here? Why haven't we operated on you?" he asked
He was really angry that I'm had to wait so long - six months wait to do such a quick and simple op is ridiculous he said and there were some dark mutterings about waiting list managers. Anyway he was very apologetic and said he will do his best to hurry it up.
The cause of the pain was evident on the x-ray - a hook that has rotated out of its original position. Ouch. Very ouch actually.
Apart from straight leg raises I'm not to do any more physio exercises as hook will just be scraping against cartilage.
Roll on the operation.
But here I am a year on and in a lot of pain at times. The operation was meant to be July 2nd, I was all psyched up for it, doing the Octenisan anti-bacterial regime - showering and washing my hair in special stuff and clean flannel, towels, nightwear, bedding and clothes every day, well I do normally put on clean clothes but the rest... a lot of laundry. Anyway there I was the afternoon before, dressing gown washed, most of my stuff packed, trying to stay calm when the phone rang - the operation was cancelled. Only good thing about this was that my brother was visiting so I could enjoy his company, eat a big dinner and go to bed late.
I expected the new date to be soon but it's in September. In the mean time I've been getting agonising stabs of pain in my knee - so bad that I cry out however hard I try not to. The physio has strapped it up which has helped but he said to take strapping off when I saw consultant yesterday - cue a yowl of pain in the waiting room when P accidentally jiggled wheelchair.
I went into the consultant's office.
"What are you doing here? Why haven't we operated on you?" he asked
He was really angry that I'm had to wait so long - six months wait to do such a quick and simple op is ridiculous he said and there were some dark mutterings about waiting list managers. Anyway he was very apologetic and said he will do his best to hurry it up.
The cause of the pain was evident on the x-ray - a hook that has rotated out of its original position. Ouch. Very ouch actually.
Apart from straight leg raises I'm not to do any more physio exercises as hook will just be scraping against cartilage.
Roll on the operation.
No words
Another blogging gap and in that time truly terrible things have been happening in our world.
There are no words...
There are no words...
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
The Wrong Jar and Pizza
Last night wasn't good. Pain that the tablets couldn't control and still awake at 4 am.
In the middle of the night I had a thought: That decaff which seemed to taste nicer than normal, of which I drank two large mugfuls yesterday, was it really decaff? Have I been using the wrong jar?
"Yes" said P this morning "here's the decaff jar at the back of the cupboard, that one at the front is ordinary coffee."
So no wonder I couldn't sleep. That coffee tasted so good though.
Today J had no exams and P was invigilating. He dropped us off in town (me with my scooter) and J and I headed for Pizza Express where it was two for one on mains. A nice bit of mother-son time and, apart from one shower, a lovely sunny day.
From now on the exams come thick and fast.
In the middle of the night I had a thought: That decaff which seemed to taste nicer than normal, of which I drank two large mugfuls yesterday, was it really decaff? Have I been using the wrong jar?
"Yes" said P this morning "here's the decaff jar at the back of the cupboard, that one at the front is ordinary coffee."
So no wonder I couldn't sleep. That coffee tasted so good though.
Today J had no exams and P was invigilating. He dropped us off in town (me with my scooter) and J and I headed for Pizza Express where it was two for one on mains. A nice bit of mother-son time and, apart from one shower, a lovely sunny day.
From now on the exams come thick and fast.
Monday, 13 June 2016
Yawn
Insomnia has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It's all a bit of a long story but I avoid caffeine and try and stay off the computer and mobile after nine o'clock. However last night when we were having the storm I just wanted to check if someone who's on holiday was also getting the storm and ended up on the laptop until about ten o'clock.
Logically having done that it would not have seemed a good night to have tried to go without my usual painkillers but that's what I did. About 4 am with the birdies beginning to sing I finally took some co-codamol to ease my throbbing feet and got to sleep.
So today I feel zonked.
As I get older it just seems harder and harder to cope with lack of sleep.
And why do my feet hurt? And why have they hurt for twenty two years?
Nobody knows.
Just some sort of post-viral thing, some sort of M.E./CFS symptom, that's all they can come up with.
Logically having done that it would not have seemed a good night to have tried to go without my usual painkillers but that's what I did. About 4 am with the birdies beginning to sing I finally took some co-codamol to ease my throbbing feet and got to sleep.
So today I feel zonked.
As I get older it just seems harder and harder to cope with lack of sleep.
And why do my feet hurt? And why have they hurt for twenty two years?
Nobody knows.
Just some sort of post-viral thing, some sort of M.E./CFS symptom, that's all they can come up with.
Fruit pastilles and lightning
Last night we had a storm which went on for an hour. Wonder if I'll ever grow out of counting the time between the lightning and the thunder. P says it's 4.5 seconds to a mile.
J is doing some work for his chemistry exam tomorrow. Brings back painful memories of when I failed my chemistry A-level the first time (what I mean is I failed it the first time I took it, exonerated myself the second time). Sitting there, only able to attempt three questions out of twenty and they were pretty much guesses then eating my fruit pastilles while the invigilator glared at me and feeling like my life was in a mess.
Just make a better go of it than I did J.
And please understand why I keep nagging you to work.
You don't want to end up with a life-long aversion to fruit pastilles.
J is doing some work for his chemistry exam tomorrow. Brings back painful memories of when I failed my chemistry A-level the first time (what I mean is I failed it the first time I took it, exonerated myself the second time). Sitting there, only able to attempt three questions out of twenty and they were pretty much guesses then eating my fruit pastilles while the invigilator glared at me and feeling like my life was in a mess.
Just make a better go of it than I did J.
And please understand why I keep nagging you to work.
You don't want to end up with a life-long aversion to fruit pastilles.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)