I still can't quite believe that J got into the school we wanted, I've gone back onto the website to check several times even though we've also had an email & a letter from the council & a letter from the school. The school sent me a wodge of forms to fill in, like medical forms, agreeing to use the internet correctly & does he want school dinners forms. I don't feel ready for all this yet. They also asked if he wanted to apply for a place on their Maths & Science gifted & talented summer school. This child who's been complaining that Maths & Science are too easy & he's bored at school immediately responded by saying no, he wasn't going to school in the summer holidays. I've persuaded him to apply though because it would do him good & it's also a good idea to appear willing to learn & interested in Maths & Science. Also he would get to meet some of the teachers & other children. He's got to get his teacher to fill in an approval form though, including saying how good his attendance is! Little does he know but his new school does some lessons on a Saturday morning - booster classes if you're struggling & master classes if you're good.
There were some real surprises among the children in his class re school places, 3 girls who were right up at the top of the class & seemed certain to get into grammar school didn't get through, no-one knows what went wrong. They're really upset, poor things.The system doesn't really seem fair, especially now there's so much tutoring going on which is pushing the standard higher & higher. Children whose parents can afford an expensive tutor seem to have a big advantage. We'd really been feeling that J wouldn't cope with the pressure of grammar school anyway so we're glad he's going where he's going.

J came out of school very cheerful yesterday because his teacher had been off sick so they'd hardly done any work. I'm not sure it's very nice of him to rejoice in the fact his teacher has food poisoning. This morning he got up ok & I thought 'Phew!' then half way through his breakfast he went pale & said he felt ill. He said it was because I hadn't toasted his crumpets enough but I think 'sudden onset underdone crumpet poisoning' is quite rare. So I dosed him up with Calpol again, he went back to bed twice & I dragged him out of bed twice & got him to school. This is all a bit of a strain. I think he still has got his virus a bit & is coughing but he probably is well enough to go in.
This made me a bit late for the housegroup but Emily arrived just after me so I wasn't last. I don't think I'd been since January. Last week at church Emily was talking to me & I hadn't said anything to her about being a bit unhappy with the group but she said she felt most of the same frustrations that I'm feeling. Anyway this morning was ok, we only chatted for a short time at the beginning & someone read out Psalm 29 which is a very beautiful & powerful psalm. It's just that one particular person tends to change the subject & go off at a tangent during the discussion & it's quite difficult. We were just starting to get into it a bit deeper & she just suddenly started chatting about something else & effectively brought it all to a close. I don't know the answer really.

Seriously difficult morning with J! Started yesterday evening really. He'd had Adam round & they'd had a great time tormenting the hamster & trashing the house. After Adam left I merely suggested a bit of piano playing & homework & he flew into a tantrum & stormed off to his room. He put himself to bed & said we were the worse parents ever & we weren't ever to set foot in his room again. A short while later a little voice said 'Mu..u..u..m, can you read to me.' His main grievances seem to be we make him go to school, make him go to bed & Dad expected him to help with the cupboard he's making for his room. It must be hard having such dreadful parents, I said I'd give him the number for Childline.
Anyway this morning he said he felt ill but I gave him some Calpol & made him go to school. The trouble is he's saying all the revision for SATs he's doing is stupid, boring & a waste of time & I think he's probably right. I phoned the school & they said they'd make him stay because he's had so much time off. He hasn't had that much time off, it's not nearly as bad as last year.
Can anyone with older children reassure me that all this bad mood stuff is going to get easier?

There seem to be two rules which operate in our house. The first is that if J has a dressing up day at school some vital item which he absolutely needs for his costume instantly disappears off the face of the earth. This explains why I spent most of Tuesday evening & Wednesday afternoon looking for a sword. What I would rather have been doing was resting after Monday night. The sword turned up under J's bed which is ok except I had asked him if he'd looked there & he said 'Yes'. When it turned up he said 'I didn't say I looked properly.'
The second rule is that whenever the house is such a tip that I'm thinking 'Wouldn't it be awful if someone came round' someone phones up & says they're coming round.' This explains why I spent yesterday morning exhausting myself cleaning the sink & cooker. They do look nice & clean though.
But I am tired & my legs ache. Tomorrow I go for my bone scan at 10.30 so I won't get much rest.
On Thursday I went back to the cardiac clinic. It was one of those amazing hospital appointments where everything runs smoothly. We got there early, a parking attendant found us a place, when we got to the clinic the person before me hadn't turned up so straight away I got my blood pressure done (a bit low) & had an ECG (ok). Then I saw the doctor who was really nice. He said there is a slight abnormality with my heart rhythm in that it's range is a bit greater than normal ie it's slow beats are slower than most people's & it's fast beats faster. It's not dangerous but if I get a virus or something my heart could start beating too fast but in that case they can give me drugs to slow it down. He said it's better not to take drugs at the moment, only if it becomes a serious problem which it might not. So, although I was a bit surprised that they found anything wrong it really doesn't seem to be serious which is a relief. It's probably not helped by me being so unfit.
Have to stop now for dinner.

Went to bed at 10.00 as I thought I'd have a bit of a sleep & then get up but couldn't sleep & just lying there not much fun. Got up at 12.00 but couldn't get into website, obviously lots of other people trying same thing. Went back to bed but still couldn't sleep, got up at 2.30, got straight into website & struggled to focus eyes on what it said... J had got into technology college which is school we all liked the best! Huge sigh of relief! It just so much 'felt' the right school for him, I really feel the hand of God is in this & I'm so thankful.

At one minute past midnight tonight we can log on & find out which school J has got into. I'm planning to stay up but super-cool P who hates losing out on sleep isn't, neither is J because we're not going to tell him about it. I don't want him not getting enough sleep straight after being ill. So anyway, the wait is nearly over & tonight I shall find out, unless the system crashes that is. Actually, really he'll probably be alright whichever of the 4 schools he's got into, as long as he has got into one of them. We shall see.

Yesterday J woke up feeling a lot better so he & P went off to the 'cholesterolfest' aka 'church mens' breakfast'. At this function they consume bacon, eggs, sausages, toast, baked beans etc etc & then they go home with a Yorkie bar. Why a Yorkie bar? Because it says on it 'not for girls'. Pathetic or what? (If you detect any hint of jealousy on my part you're imagining it, anyway I don't like Yorkies).
After all that masculine overeating yesterday, today we had the monthly church lunch which today had a 'fair trade theme' ie we were meant to use fair trade ingredients. I must say my banana bread turned out really nice & it was so easy to make. Here's how I did it:
Sat at table & said 'I want to make my banana bread but I'm feeling a bit tired would you mind weighing out ingredients for me?'
'Ok,' said P.
'Oh dear I don't think I feel up to mixing it.'
'No prob, I'll do it.'
And there it was - made!
Anyway if you're interested in the recipe (it really is very nice), here it is:

225g (8oz) self-raising flour
100g (4oz) butter
150g (5oz) fairtrade caster sugar
450g (1 lb) fairtrade bananas (the gooier the better)
1/2 tsp salt (actually we left this out)
2 eggs
175g (6 oz) mixed dried fruit

Pre-heat oven to 180 C/350 F/Gas Mark 4. Peel & mash bananas, then mix all ingredients except dried fruit together, by hand or in food processor. Add dried fruit. Spoon mixture into 1 kg (2 lb) non-stick loaf tin (we used silicone one, worked a treat), spread out evenly then bake for 1 1/2 hours. Done when skewer pushed in middle comes out clean. Cool on wire rack before slicing.

There you have it.

Church lunch was preceded by parade service, church was seriously packed. J didn't want to wear his cub uniform but he just had to. Now he's gone round Adam's to play & I'm sitting here typing while P whizzes his model helicopter round my head.