Day 13

Day 13 of '40 Day No Chocolate Challenge' and doing fine.

Blue flower

This is a pretty flower photo just because I haven't posted any pretty flower photos for a while.

Glad they're out of the way

I really think A-levels are the most stressful exams for everybody involved. There seems to be something more unpredictable about them these days, somehow being clever plus hard work doesn't always equal success like it used to. Glad that's all over now.

A friend said that while they're at uni is actually a nice calm time after what's been before and what's still to come (???) and you can enjoy going out doing things as a couple and go and stay near them and have a little holiday as well as visiting them. Glad J's uni is in quite a nice area.

He is sooo excited about uni and even doing a bit of work for his course - learning a new computer language. It seems so obvious now that this is the right course for him.

J's list

J's list of what he needs at uni:

computer

The day arrives

So yesterday was exam results day, probably the most important results day of his life and it turned out to be far more stressful than I'd imagined.

I had thought there were three possible scenarios:

1) Got grades he needed to get into chosen course  firm choice uni

2) Hadn't got grades for firm but had got good enough for insurance so went there

3) Hadn't got good enough for either, hadn't really got a plan for that

Sooo... I woke up at 4 am (having slept ok due to some late nights watching olympics). Other two slept like logs. Made J his favourite breakfast of scrambled eggs. Went to school, suggested we went in with him, didn't go down very well, said he'd text, he did and he'd got very good grades but in order to get into firm choice there was another exam he'd taken and he had to log on to the computer to get the result. He'd refused to do this before we left so we still didn't know if he'd got in. We had a delay while he was in the school photo and getting congratulated then, feeling increasingly nervous (me that is) we headed home, J trying unsuccesfully to log in on phone. 

Got home, logged on, he hadn't passed. Logged on to UCAS, he mistakenly thought firm choice had rejected him but his Maths module marks had been so good I thought 'they can't'. 

"You have to phone them and tell them your marks, they might not actually know them (just the overall grade)."
"I can't".

Finally he agreed and they said they hadn't totally rejected him they were thinking about whether they'd take him and if they hadn't phoned back within 8 hours (!) to call them.

We just hadn't foreseen this possibility.

I tried to get hold of a teacher to ask if they could  put in a good word for him but couldn't so just sat there praying and texting a few people to ask them to pray..

Two hours later he got a call - they couldn't take him on course he'd applied for but could offer him a different course - basically combined maths & computer science and seemed quite keen to have him. They emailed him some information and asked if he could decide as soon as possible. 

As we looked at it we all realised that this course was just him and it will probably suit him better than the other.

So all sorted and turned out all right in the end. Thank You Lord.

Blueberry cream

This is also Day 5 of the no-chocolate challenge and it had its good moments and its wobbly ones too.

Good moment: weighed myself and have lost three pounds!

Wobbly moment: when P & J were eating yummy Hotel Chocolat chocolates in front of me and I just wanted to grab the blueberry cream and eat it. I mean J doesn't even like blueberries and there he was putting it in his mouth.

But I didn't. Which sort of makes it into a good moment I suppose.

Even more wobbly moment: sewed up side seams of trousers I'm making and tried them on or rather tried to try them on because I couldn't get them over my hips. I'm still too fat.

Plan: let out seams a bit
        put in a zip instead of elastic
        lose more weight

Sigh.

Still waiting

Plan A: gets into firm choice uni. Yay.

Plan B: gets into insurance choice uni. Still yay, it's a good place.

Plan C: he won't talk about it.

So Thursday could either go very well  or...

Waiting

This may seem like a normal Tuesday but it's not.

This is the Tuesday two days before the exam results.

I didn't know that waiting for your child's results can feel as bad as waiting for your own.

And the newspaper article saying this year's A-level results will be the unfairest yet really helps.

Knee update

Meanwhile the knee situation has been worsening - sharp stabs of pain and hardly able to bend it. Have heard nothing from hospital despite consultant saying he'd try to bring operation forward. Trouble is all the hard work I did in the physio gym is now being undone. All I can do is straight leg raises to strengthen my quads.

Yesterday I tried phoning the hospital. I tried two different secretaries and the waiting list manager but just got through to answephones. The waiting list manager's message was 'this phone will not be answered in the foreseeable future'. This, together with the Telegraph article about the NHS - waiting lists at worst ever - kind of made me feel that there isn't all that much hope of my op happening any sooner.

Trusting God. He'll get me through this and somehow it will be ok.

Staying away from the cocoa bean

So why is it that for 40 days I'm going without this:

Because it seems that whenever I'm doing well with cutting down on sugar/ losing weight someone gives us some delicious chocolate and I end up eating it. The other night I had a sort of  'I can't stop eating chocolate' meltdown and then I had a thought:

'I can stop eating it. My life isn't controlled by chocolate, it's controlled by Jesus.'

Then I remembered the course we're doing in our housegroup - the Grace Course by Freedom in Christ Ministries.  This includes a 40 day 'Stronghold Buster' in which for 40 days you reject whatever lies are holding you into wrong behaviour and replace them with truth. So I reject the lie that I can't give up chocolate and I declare that I am more than a conqueror (paraphrase of Romans 8:39). And I thought while I'm doing that I won't eat any of the cocoa bean stuff.

For 40 days.

None of the yummy bars of chocolate Melanie gave us. Nor any of the' Hotel Chocolat Tasting Club' box Mavis gave us. No chocolate biscuits or pudding or cake. No Magnums (or should that be Magna?), not even a mint one, or any form of chocolate ice-cream. No hot chocolate. 

Can I do it? Yes I can.

Three days in.

Doing ok.

Update

So here I am 10 days later having:


been to Faith Camp for a day - awesome

been to Ellel Pierrepont for a one day course - again awesome

been for another day out

had a bit of a situation with trousers that wouldn't do up - must have shrunk

been to church picnic

decided to give up chocolate for 40 days - can I really do this - yes

started making some new trousers (having not made an item of clothing since I made maternity clothes 19 years ago)

decluttered and sorted loads of paperwork, organised greetings cards and stationery into folders  

been out this morning to church ladies' breakfast at local Wetherspoons - 'Eggs Royale' yum

been waking up each mornng acutely aware of how longit is until A-level Results Day

Yummy food and beginning to wonder if...

Last night our friend Melanie came round for dinner. For once I didn't totally exhaust myself tidying up. This was because a) since doing so much decluttering we are starting from a better base and b) I decided to be sensible, delegated a lot of it and lay down and had a rest after lunch before cleaning the bathroom and preparing the table.

P and J between them produced Chicken with Apricots - a Madhur Jaffrey recipe:

 - and a chocolate and cherry dessert which was a River Cafe recipe. Both totally delicious and we had a lovely evening together. Such a shame she is soon going back to America but she is coming back for a visit next year and has already booked another meal with us. 
  I've always wanted to go to America and a hint of plan is beginning to form...

Another day out

I have this new resolution to stop pushing my body too hard, It's a difficult balance because I need to try and do as much activity as I can manage without overdoing it but there is a point when I go into 'driven' mode and know I'm doing too much it and is it reasonable to expect my body to heal if I'm doing that? It is hard though when this means stopping doing something half way through and asking othe rpeople to do things for me when I feel I can do them better etc etc

Anyway we went out today, had a nice 'walk' along the banks of an estuary, saw a swan family, went into a cafe where they hadn't got the drinks any of us wanted and P said we'd leave (I'd have just stayed and drunk what they had got but he was probably right - why spend money on what you don't want?) then we found a better cafe and had a light lunch - smoked haddock pate was delicious but can still taste it. Then P went for a little walk and J and I stayed in car and I had a little sleep then P suggested ice-cream and I had an Almond Magnum which was nice but then I regretted it then we went round an interesting museum then we 'walked' round a bit more of the estuary and it was lovely and sunny.

When I get better

In spite of the list provided by J in the previous post we headed off to Ikea today armed with a money off voucher. We went with the intent of buying him for a few things for uni on the basis that, though we still don't know his exam results (17 days to go!) he is almost certainly going to go somewhere.

"You don't need me to come with you do you?" he said.

One teenager dragged into car. Fish and chips and Swedish cheesecake later and he was feeling a bit more co-operative and got quite enthusiastic about choosing spatulas, and a pizza cutter and baking tin and mulling over mixing bowls and knives. Must be more stuff he needs just can't think of it all now. Have already got him some saucepans. He can have some of our spare stuff anyway. We have plenty of stuff.

Talking of which I have done masses of decluttering of late, which is probably why I am so exhausted. I'm beginning to actually see the effects though.

My knee did not behave well today - there were several embarrassing "Youch!" episodes in Ikea. Had to rest when got home.

You know what I'd really like to be able to do? Go to Ikea and just wander round all by myself.

Well there's several other things I'd like to do as well. When I get better.

J's list

J's list of what he thinks he needs at uni:

Computer.

Praying for feet

Yesterday I didn't feel like going to church but I went. The man who was meant to preach wasn't there as his wife is in hospital so we just had a very short talk. The pastor had stuck tape in a circle on the floor and he got the children to scatter some pieces of paper with Bible verses on them inside the circle. We were then to go up and choose one. I could see one from where I was sitting: 'I am the Lord who heals you' (Exodus 15:26) and I hoped that whoever picked one for me would get that one. Sure enough my friend Melanie chose that one for me.

We then got in small groups and prayed for each other. There was a time this would have terrified me but it's ok now and good to pray for each other's needs. They asked if I wanted prayer for my knee but I somehow felt they should pray about my feet which were hurting as ever. They still hurt but watch this space.