Monday

Saw my Dad on Saturday, he's doing very well. two of his vertebrae had collapsed, the nurses say they think the surgeon actually removed them which seems a bit drastic. He just phoned to say he's walked about two hundred yards & apart from some pain is doing fine.

Have been trying to sort out P's Dad's house a bit, at least get rid of any open food packets in cupboards. A lot of stuff in bedroom was P's mum's stuff which had never been sorted out.

Got message last night to say our minister's mum very ill with kidney failure, so busy praying for her.

Good news

Dad's operation went well. Going to see him tomorrow. Really tired.

Yet more bad news

Today was P's Dad's funeral. The service went well & P gave a very good talk but poor J cried all the way through which was sad. Seeing him upset made me upset so I cried all the way though as well. P's brother & his wife & her son came, plus P's cousins, one of his Dad's carers, some of our neighbours & a couple of people from church. Also Becky & Louise & Steve came to support us which was really nice of them & then after school brought Tim & Adam to be with J.

The pub had done a really nice buffet for us & the sun was shining through the window. I was sitting talking to my sister in law when my mobile rang. It was my brother. My Dad was admitted to hospital for tests two days ago because he's been having trouble walking. His wife had just called my brother to say he needs emergency surgery on his spine & if he doesn't have it he could be paralysed. Apparently the bones are crumbling & pressing on the spinal cord. He needed to be transferred to another hospital, they were seeing where they could find a bed for him.

We're just waiting for news.

Sunday

Still waiting to find out more about what happened to my aunt. This morning I phoned P's aunt with details of his Dad's funeral & she sounded terrible - really short of breath! She said she was having a funny turn & waiting for doctor to arrive.

Yesterday at church sat behind family with new twins + toddler. All gorgeous but there wasn't a second when one of them wasn't needing attention. Little girl kept taking dummies from twins' mouths so hard to get them to settle to sleep. I managed to cuddle a twin for a while. Naomi who was sitting next to me suddenly started dabbing her eyes & went out. During hymn I went out to see if she was ok & bumped into Linda who was doing the same but we found someone else was already with her. She said the babies brought back painful memories, she's had quite a traumatic past.

Then had long conversation with retired GP about Mavis. I went with Mavis to the doctors last week to get result of MRI on her back. This was the same doctor who so sensitively (not!) told me about the osteoporosis. Anyway he just read out this great long report in very complicated medical language & was oblivious to the fact she didn't understand a word of it. Even though he tried to tell her it was basically ok & she didn't need surgery she was still upset & confused but retired GP managed to put her mind at rest. I was talking to her about this particular doctor & she was very critical of him - thinks he doesn't work hard enough & doesn't really care about patients. I'm not sure he totally doesn't care, I think he just doesn't understand what it's like to be a patient, partly because he is so fit & healthy. Other doctor (who's my hero cos he came out so quickly when J had swine flu) is better really although some people find him a bit over zealous & he tends to do lots of tests.

After church we went to pub for lunch with Louise & some friends of hers. We sat outside where I was quite nervous of caterpillars descending on strings from oak trees. I just don't like caterpillars in my hair. Had lovely lunch anyway - smoked haddock, same as I had last time I was there. They have painted wooden spoons with the table numbers on them & several years ago to my horror while waiting for his order P drew a picture of J on one of them. Guess what was on our wooden spoon yesterday - J's picture!

I'm feeling very frustrated today as there is so much I want to do, I've got so many plans for house & garden etc & I haven't got the strength.

More bad news

Obviously over the last few days we've been busy arranging the funeral etc It's going to be a simple service at the crematorium as he wasn't a church goer & that's what he wanted. Afterwards we'll go to the pub near our house.

Today we went to pick up some of our furniture from storage as the friend whose farm it's stored at is moving. There are now cupboards, shelves & boxes of ornaments everywhere & there's still another trailer load to collect. It's quite strange, it's like we moved house packed up our stuff then unpacked it 8 years later. I suppose that is literally what we did. Some stuff we'd just forgotten we'd got. And some stuff we wonder why on earth we've got.

Rather to my consternation & P's delight his thousands of model aeroplane magazines have survived intact. We are having something of an ongoing debate about the necessity of keeping them.

We picked up J & I took him to town for a hair cut & to buy the ipod touch he's been saving up for (the £31 he got for putting his hand up helped a lot).

Shortly after I got home the phone rang & P answered it - it was my uncle. He was saying something about someone having died & P assumed he'd found about his Dad. But no, it was my aunt - she was found dead this morning! I just can't take it in, two deaths in a week. It just seems unreal.

P's Dad

At about quarter to one this morning P's Dad died. He had been transferred to the main hospital unconscious with a severe chest infection but had improved a lot & was talking to us when we visited at lunch time. In the evening P went in & he seemed almost back to his old self & complaining he was bored because he didn't have a book. In the middle of the night we got a call to say he'd suddenly deteriorated. P went straight in but he'd gone before he got there. Apparently he was talking to a nurse, said 'I don't feel well' & just slipped away.

It's been quite a shock & we're really going to miss him but it's a comfort that it was so peaceful at the end.

I think I just have to go & have a cry.

Garden

P has been working hard clearing the area in front of our house. This has been a lot easier with the new strimmer he got with the insurance money - thanks burglars. Anyway it's beginning to look quite nice, like a real garden. There's a sheet of wood (where one day the decking will be) where I can sit on my recliner in the sun (er what sun?) & I've arranged the pansies (which are still blooming) around it. And he's mown the grass so it's almost like a lawn. And the rhododendron is just coming into bloom. I was out there having a nice relax this afternoon then it started raining. Never mind.
Did I say I've also got a rotary airer now? Bliss.

Sunday

Today was Church Anniversary Sunday at church so we had a visiting preacher who was very good. I was sitting in front of the couple whose nephew killed himself. Turns out he went to live with them after his parents divorced when he was 8 so he was like a son to them. I just kept muttering 'It must be so hard for you.' What else is there to say?

CRE

Today P & I went to the Christian Resource Exhibition at Sandown Park Racecourse. Had good journey both ways & a quite tiring but enjoyable day. This year I had my scooter, Scootie, which was a lot better than P pushing me around. It meant I didn't have to hang around being bored while he chatted about sound systems & he didn't have to hang around bored while I looked at books. P does like books, it's just after about 15 minutes of looking around a bookshop he's had enough while I could do it all day.

So we've returned home with 4 carrier bags of stuff - books (mainly for the church library), leaflets, magazines, candles, free pens & notepads, cards, a video, an interactive digital Bible, two necklaces, a puzzle & keyring for J, etc etc

I think my decluttering campaign has just suffered a setback.

A good day though.

Slate mine

Just for a change of scene some pictures of an old slate mine from our time in Wales.

Bribery & corruption

My brother's hand is doing well, he is getting more flexibility in it he says. Tim's arm is also doing well & P's Dad is making good progress.

I have been having an email conversation with J's German teacher about how he hardly ever puts his hand up to answer questions in class. I know he is also the same in most of his other lessons. In a rash moment yesterday I said I would pay him a pound for each time he put his hand up. I thought perhaps he would manage it once or twice a week.

Today he came home & said I owed him £31.

I have just received this email from his German teacher:

Just to let you know J did amazingly well in his German class today and put his hand up several times and gave good answers. I even gave him a school point for this.

I am hoping that with a little encouragement, he will continue to push himself. I was very pleased with him today!

She must never know.

And now J has shown what he's capable of he can jolly well keep it up!

Update

It's really cold here today, like winter's here all over again.

My brother should be having an operation today to repair nerve damage & see if there's any other problems & what further treatment he may need. He said that yesterday he was beginning to get some feeling back in his hand which is good. Doctors seem confident they can sort it all out. It's amazing what they can do now with microsurgery.

Tim had surgery on his arm as they couldn't manipulate the bones together so they had to pin them. Apparently he screamed nearly the whole time in casualty - they got seen pretty quickly. I took J round to see him yesterday, he's a bit miserable as he's still in pain but not too bad.

Had to lead house group this morning, talking about baptism. It was really hard though with three very young children there who are lovely but kept yelling, couldn't really create atmosphere in which people could share & somebody led discussion completely off track anyway.

I don't know if I've said J is having a tutor (who's a friend of ours) to help with French & German speaking. He's really gaining in confidence. He's also doing some mandarin lessons at school! Some new Government thing about improving relations with China. How am I supposed to cope with a child who can speak Chinese?

Sad news

Something else really, really sad happened today. There is a woman at church about my age who often asks us to pray for her cousin who was paralysed from the neck down after a diving accident at 21. Her parents also come to church so he's her mum's nephew as well & his mum has been to church a few times. He has had a lot of health problems recently including bad neck pain & pressure sores & has spent a lot of time in hospital.

We just had an email from our minister to say it must have all got too much for him as he has taken his own life.

I just can't even begin to imagine how his family must be feeling.

Sunday

Such a lot has happened today & some of it is so upsetting. We woke up late because P who is the one who wakes up early has J's cold & is really not well. He didn't feel up to going to church so I quickly got ready & picked up Adam & Mavis. There was a baptism service which was really moving.

Afterwards I was quite busy trying to sort out youth activity forms & talking to various people. Then Mavis got upset because she said she was sitting on her own & everyone was ignoring her & no-one cares about her. Linda & I were trying to comfort her while at the same time I was trying to ask the church treasurer if it was ok to pay for all the helpers to go on youth activity. I think I've overdone the 'we can't run this event without adult help' bit because we've now got too many helpers!

After lunch J & Adam went to meet up with Tim & some others in the woods near the village. In the woods there's a rope swing & while Tim was on it he somehow fell off & J said he was lying on the ground screaming in pain & crying out to God not to let him die. Thankfully Adam had his mobile & Becky got there really quickly. She has texted me from the hospital to say he's broken both bones in his forearm. Could have been a lot worse, I suppose.

Meanwhile in Wales my brother was cutting a bit of wood with his bow saw without his gloves as he couldn't find them & he was 'only going to cut one branch'. The saw kicked back & ripped though his hand. Thankfully it seems to have missed the tendons but there is some nerve damage & he is going to a bigger hospital tomorrow as he probably needs plastic surgery as there is virtually no skin left on the back of his hand.

Today

P off today so he took J to school. This afternoon we went to see P's dad in hospital, this is a hospital he hasn't been in before. He was in a wheelchair in the day room which was a large sunny room with a nice view. He just looked so happy in there, sitting with the other men. They think his painful leg is due to muscle spasm & he's to have physio. At the moment he still can't walk on it. In himself he is very alert & cheerful though.
This evening we went to Pizza Express with J, Tim & Adam We had these vouchers where you got a pizza for £1 with every main meal. I had vowed to have a salad then frozen yoghurt. I actually had pesto pollo (chicken & pasta in creamy sauce) & tiramisu. At least, unlike the others, I resisted the dough balls. The 3 boys all had margheritas & chocolate glorys. P had canneloni & frozen yoghurt.
I must stop writing about food all the time.

Election night

Last night I went out to a local pub to celebrate birthdays of 2 people at church. Had good time although live music was a bit loud at times so a bit hard to hear what people saying. But generally a good time (& there were free bowls of chips). When I got home I grabbed a pillow & some throws, got a hot drink & a bowl of cereal & settled down to stay up all night to watch the election results. P thinks this behaviour is completely insane but I grew up with very politically active parents & my Dad used to stand as a Liberal candidate & my brother & I used to address envelopes & deliver leaflets & sit outside polling stations writing down lists of numbers & be rent-a-crowd for pictures in the local paper & all sorts of things. Anyway I've always stayed up to watch the results. But last night was just so dismal. I don't know if you stayed up too & thought the same but because the TV presenters were desperately trying to find trends in the early results where there weren't any & because they had to talk about something they were just talking a load of rubbish. So I fell asleep. At 5 am I was woken by J saying 'What a waste of electricity!' & turning off the TV.
There's just such a strange atmosphere after this election, it's like everyone's a loser & no-one quite knows where they are & I just had to feel really sorry for Nick Clegg, he just looked so tired & so devastated. But anyway looks like he & David Cameron are going to get together & perhaps they can turn things around.

Update

This morning got off to a bit of a stressful start - think J with a cold, me tired, have to drop off P at station for conference in London so can't take short cut to school and ... 5 minutes after we should have left discover J needs apple crumble ingredients for food technology lesson. Right.

To quickly update last week:

• J had brilliant time at activity weekend. On way to pick him up got message that coach stuck on motorway. Went home. Half an hour later got message that they would be at school in 20 minutes. The thing is they have this 'phone tree' which is a list of parents who phone each other. The problem was we were tenth on the list so by the time we got the call they were probably already at school & whereas most of the other parents live round the corner we live about 20-30 minutes drive away. This meant that when we arrived car park was empty save for J & 4 shivering teachers.

• I've got a washing line (as in rotary airer) ! Haven't had my own line for 8 years. Just feels so good.

• I can't remember if I said P's dad was home but yesterday he got a pain in his leg & couldn't move it so I had to call an ambulance & he's back in hospital.

• J got another cold & lost his voice.

• I'm not sure how to vote! I think I'm going to have to vote for a candidate I don't like in order to get in a party I don't like in order to stop the others who are even worse.

• If J laughs once more at my lack of computer skills while looking over my shoulder he'll be sorry. Get on with eating your apple crumble & custard!