Update

• J a lot better today & is playing a complicated board game with P.
• Snow didn't settle but is quite cold out.
• I stayed in bed all morning cos I was tired & achey & wonderful P brought me breakfast & lunch in bed.
• P's dad still in hospital, we're not allowed to see him cos there's a bug on the ward.
• I don't know what else to write.
  

Thursday

It's Thursday afternoon. J has been off school since Tuesday with a viral infection & has been really quite unwell, (I emailed his head of year & she was very nice about it), he is watching a rubbishsy Dr Who video & it is snowing!!

Monday morning

Actually this morning went ok in the end. J who wasn't really very well agreed to go to school, the football kit had turned up last night (ie J remembered where he'd put it) & we had one of these very satisfying 'left late but no traffic & got there early' school runs.

On Monday mornings I tend to be a bit sluggish & not feel like doing anything. I'm trying hard to be more organised at the moment so my phone keeps bleeping & saying 'Change sheets' 'send emails' 'sort out ironing' etc

Questions

Over the last couple of days I've been contemplating some of life's bigger questions:

• How did it happen that when P & J went model aeroplane flying in a muddy field J was wearing his school shoes?
• How can a boy sleep in his school trousers & then say 'I didn't notice'?
• How does he expect me to help with his English homework when the book's at school, he can't remember what it says and I've never read it?
  
• How did the cheese get to be under his bed?
• How did it happen that a great deal of my porridge ended up coating the inside of the microwave?
• Why doesn't it ever occur to anyone else to clean the loo?
• Where is his football kit?

Today

This afternoon I was cutting up an apple by the kitchen window & 6 long tailed tits came & fed on the fat balls we've put in the tree outside the window. Then 2 of them flew off & came back with 2 more (I think, I suppose it could have been 2 flew off & 4 more came). Anyway it was really lovely. Long tailed tits are such beautiful delicate little birds.

J has just asked if Pennsylvania is where they make pencils.

P's Dad is doing well in hospital, they think it's just muscle damage & not a fracture. They're talking of him spending a couple of weeks in a home before he comes back here which would be better really.

My legs are slowly improving still.

Getting on well with the theology.

Had sermon on 'giving' this morning. I've got to lead the discussion at the housegroup on Tuesday. Money is always an awkward subject as many people in the church live what could be considered quite extravagant lifestyles & even those who don't still do if you compare them to the majority of people in the world. There is this level at which many of us feel a bit guilty about it I think. Anyway I'll see how it goes. I suppose really it's all about being open to how much God is wanting us to give & recognising that our money isn't our money it's his & he does bless us with things & wants us to enjoy them. It's just when I heard how much one person in our group spent on mascara I was shocked. But then I did spend £20 on library fines the other week which is just shameful. (And I've still got an outstanding book which has been renewed the maximum number of times and is due back & I can't find it. I'm not going to use the library any more, I'm going to buy the books - it's cheaper).

Talking of church I've got a new friend there - she's an RE teacher & actually went to the same university as me, although she started the year I left.

Watch out, crocodile about!

We nearly had what the French would call 'une catastrophe' on Friday.

Consider these two facts:

1) J had turned his Lego robot into a crocodile which comes out & snaps at passers by.

2) One of the passers by was Mum on her scooter.

Shall we just say these two facts er collided...

Thankfully the damage doesn't seem to be permanent, more a case of temporary disintegration.

Potato wedges

Bit of good news - J got 10/10 for his food technology (that's cookery to you & me) assessment for which he cooked spicy potato wedges. Right, tonight J I'd like chicken casserole & orange & chocolate mouse thank you.

Nightmare

Life has been nightmarish for last couple of days!
On Tuesday hospital phoned 3 times to say P's Dad coming home that day. P swapped work duties for Weds & came home early & kept popping over to see if he was back but he didn't turn up. In evening hospital phoned up to ask if he'd got morphine at home, I said he hadn't & where was he. They said he couldn't go home until drugs sorted out so he'd be home Weds. P phoned them up & explained he couldn't be there Weds as he'd got to be at work.
Weds afternoon an ambulance man knocked at my door & said he'd got P's Dad but couldn't drop him off unless there was someone to help get him in & he'd been told his son would be there. Eventually he got him into house & went off. I went over to find him in severe pain & hardly able to move. No morphine sent home with him. Stayed with him as long as could. When P got home he phoned surgery who said doctor would be out in morning & would phone me when he got there. Spent morning with P's Dad waiting for doctor who didn't arrive. P came home early. Got phone call from J asking to be picked up. P popped out, doctor came but didn't phone me, just gave P's Dad painkillers which didn't help. Desperately concerned as P's Dad not able to get any food or drink by himself or get to loo & I'm just not able to help him enough.
P phoned social services who sent social worker out this morning. (I won't go into how he typed wrong postcode into satnav & got totally lost). He called ambulance & sent him back to hospital. Ambulance driver suspected he'd got a fractured pelvis which hospital missed.
So there we are, just wait & see. Really think we'll have to complain to hospital about it though, just not good enough.
I've got into such a stressed state it's hard to wind down.

X-ray

This morning P took me for my finger x-ray. We spent 20 minutes & drove a mile and a half round the hospital looking for a parking space then ended up parking on the road outside. The whole x-ray procedure including waiting time took about 3 minutes.
Then we went back & got the plant containers I saw on Saturday (P wasn't all that keen on the purply pink one but we got it anyway - I share a house with 3 males, I need a bit of girliness) & we got a roller blind for the bathroom. We really wanted a green one to go with the bathroom but obviously green isn't fashionable as they hadn't got any so we ended up with white again. Still P can always paint it.

Sunday

Yesterday at church I felt really pathetic. I mean considering what the people of Haiti are going through how can I complain about anything or feel sorry for myself? And we had just had a sermon on being thankful. It's just that although I am slowly improving I had had a pretty bad week & relapses are hard to deal with especially when I'd been doing so well - it's like I was beginning to get my life back & someone came & snatched it away. Anyway during the last song I went a bit sniffly & then when I was sitting in the church cos I couldn't make it out to coffee & I wasn't even sure I could make it back to the door I felt more & more miserable. When the church secretary came past & asked if I was alright I burst into tears. She was really nice & hugged me & prayed with me & said I could call her anytime.
At this moment Ethel from our housegroup came up & said Mary was upset because she hadn't been asked to help with coffee. Each housegroup is supposed to take a turn with coffee. Sophie who leads our group asked me to organise the rota as she keeps forgetting (although frankly I felt I'd rather chew off my right arm) but she'd said she'd do it for Sunday as I was unwell. So seeing as Mary not being asked to do it was nothing to do with me & seeing as I had tears coming out of my eyes I couldn't help feeling I didn't want to get involved in this conversation.
Then Emily came up & asked if we'd had alcohol for sale at our year 6 fun night as they were having it at theirs & she felt it was wrong. Well yes we did as that was how the wine got spilt over our treasure map but at the time it was so much touch & go whether we'd have a fun night at all what with people falling out with each other that we hadn't stopped to consider the moral issues. There is so much a drinking culture in our village I don't think there's a hope she could get the sale of alcohol stopped however she feels about it.
In the afternoon P & J went out flying model aeroplanes & I had a nice sleep then P went to visit his Dad who's doing well but isn't getting the promised physio.

Saturday

Also on Friday our new curtains arrived & they look nice except the ones for the French doors are too small. How did I manage to order them too small? Was it a brainstorm or something? What I meant to do when I went on the computer was get the firm's phone number. What I am doing instead is writing my blog.
On Saturday we went out & brought some roller blinds for the kitchen which P fitted with remarkable ease. These are plain white but he's talking of airbrushing a design onto them. I also saw some orange & purply pink plant containers & when I got home I wished I'd got some because they would go with curtains.
Felt really frustrated Saturday night because wanted to do some of my theology course & couldn't get onto website to find out what I was meant to be doing. Apart from that I'm enjoying the course although now I've got into it the intoductory course does seem a little bit easy but I suppose it has to include people who haven't studied much before. The real test will be when I have to write essays.

Party

J spent Thursday being ill then on Friday morning woke up & said 'I feel a lot better so I'm going to school.' Hooray! P had day off so he drove him in. Reason he had day off was so he could make cherry clafoutis & polenta cake for party we were going to in the evening. This was a middle age sort of party - eating + conversation + playing a couple of games. There were lots of people I knew & everyone was being sympathetic & nice to me. We played this really good game called the 'present game'. Everyone was asked to bring a cheap gift - either something nice or something silly. Then everybody took 3 cards from a pack. From another pack the leader turned over every third card & if was your turn you took a wrapped present. When all presents taken if your card was turned over you either took a present from someone who had more than one or else swapped with someone who had only one. General idea was everyone ended up with at least one but not necessarily one they liked. We went home with a really gaudy make up bag & 2 candles but at least we got rid of the Simpsons bottle stopper we won at the school fair.

It's stopped snowing!

On Tuesday night I tried turning over in bed & couldn't - I couldn't manage to move my right leg by myself so P had to lift it for me - scary or what? To move my legs at all yesterday was a real struggle, walking almost impossible & pain bad. Spent most of day in bed doing not much at all. J had to get 2 buses to school but P went to work late so he could get him out on time & walk with him to bus stop. Light snow all day, concerned about J who had to get buses home in dark & snow & with his cold but he made it ok.
J won a toy in a competition & it arrived yesterday which cheered him up a lot.

This morning woke up on my right side & realised hip was a bit less painful but still hard to walk. Absolutely tipping it down with rain (not snow!) Thought about J having to wait at bus stop in it. Then he came into my room & lay on my bed looking pale & ill. He wrote on a bit of paper that he'd lost his voice & his chest & throat really hurt & started crying. At that point I decided that there was no way my sick child was going to school in the pouring rain & if they complained I would tell them what to do with their attendance figures. So he's been at home today, I'm still scooting around, slightly better but still not into walking & P's got his father, son & wife all sick.

There was a knock at the door this morning & I got there just in time to find the Parcel Force man stuffing J's Christmas present (finally it arrived!!!!) into the cardboard waste sack. I know he was trying to be helpful but honestly, could he not think of any possible disadvantages with that arrangement, particularly as Thursday is the night we put the rubbish out?!!

J's present is a Lego robot which he can programme (or is it program?). Wonder if he can get it to do the housework?

Disaster

I don't know what has happened to my legs but they have seized up & are really painful & heavy & I can hardly move them & can hardly walk at all. I'm having to use my scooter to get round the house. (I'm just not going to go into what happened when P let J drive my scooter over my NEW rug). This is kind of a disaster (the legs not the rug) & several times tonight I've been on the verge of tears.
Probably this has happened because I've been doing a lot recently. It's so hard because I'd felt I was beginning to get the house tidier & more organised & now I'll have to rest & it'll get really messy again.
What's more pressing is how to get J to school tomorrow. He, incidentally, came home with a cold & says getting to school won't be a problem if he doesn't go. Have to see how we both are in the morning.
Right now I'm determined to trust God, he'll get me through this, I know he will.

Update

• P's Dad had a fall & went into hospital with a suspected broken hip but they've decided it isn't broken & he's just staying in a few days to have some physio.
  
• J has left scouts because it's now finishing at 9.30 which is just too late. Have to try & keep him as healthy as possible as his attendance is now below 80% which means school is keeping an eye on us. Really, really don't want to be in this situation. Never want him to miss school. Have never taken him out to go on holiday like a lot of people do (although they don't allow it at his new school). Have been giving him vitamin tablets to try & help his immune system but he says they make him feel sick.
• Had 2 skids on way to school yesterday & this morning car pulled out in front of me & I nearly hit him.
• Feet have been very painful so couldn't go to church on Sunday. This morning was getting ready for housegroup & knee seized up & I couldn't go. Going to have restful day today.
• Really enjoying theology course but only on early units - how to read, how to study, how to think.
• Got a bit of a problem with car - sometimes makes funny noise when go round corners. Mechanic meant to pick it up Thurs. Still waiting.
• P is getting on fine, although busy at work.
• More snow is forecast!
  

Parlez vous francais?

Bonjour mes amis. J'espère que vous allez bien. La raison pour laquelle je parle en français, c'est que mon fils a été mis dans la classe supérieure pour les langues et il a besoin d'aide! Ainsi, la plupart de nos conversations sont un mélange de mauvais français ou mauvais allemand.

This is what happened - J had both a French & German assessment shortly after his return from being off with swine flu. Because he had so little time to learn I put in a lot of effort helping him to learn his vocabulary & he managed to get 90% in German which impressed his teacher no end. What we didn't know was that the combined mark of these tests was to be used to decide who went in the fast-track, top class, do GCSE early language sets which is where J now is & I am struggling with my poor French & almost non-existent German to help him. Actually I quite like German, although I've never done it before. It seems a bit easier than French.

Talking of languages the other day J asked me to play monopoly & I said I would in a moment just after I'd read my Bible & he said 'While you're doing that I'll just learn some New Testament Greek' & sat down at the laptop. What's going on?

I keep looking at the optional Greek module in my theology course & thinking 'Hmm, should I or shouldn't I?'

By the way I lost at monopoly. J always wins. This is because he's totally ruthless & puts everything he's got into getting hotels whereas I'm more cautious & hold out until I've got lots of money until I buy houses & then go & land on J's hotel on Mayfair & have to pay him all the money.

Geography

This is J's Geography project. Pretty good I think.

Another note to self

If J & Tim say they're going out to build snowmen make sure they're not building them in the drive.

Lots & lots of snow

I think J has a point when he says novelty can wear off where snow is concerned. His school was shut yesterday but to his disappointment was open today although it opened late. We were even later for 2 reasons: couldn't get passenger doors open & couldn't get drivers door shut, obviously something frozen in mechanism. Took quite some time to get doors functioning & us both in car. Roads very slippery & quite scary. On way back from school back passenger door flew open.

Then had rush to get to doctors whom I saw cos I hurt my finger months ago (by walking into a wall) & it still hurts. He said it's possibly fractured so I have to have an x ray. He had a calendar on his desk with a picture of a baby & I said 'Is that your grandson?' & he showed me all the pictures in the calendar. So cute! I want a baby!

On second thoughts, no I don't.

Well, I do a little bit.

Note to self

Next year make sure Christmas cracker contents do not include water pistols.

Sunday

Last night we had P's Dad over & had a lovely meal (mostly cooked by P though I did the stuffing) eating the food intended for our snowed-in relatives.

Last night I also signed on for an introductory theology module. To my surprise the tutor for this module is someone I know slightly as he has been an occasional visiting preacher to our church. I'm not sure if he'll remember me. The module looks very interesting but what I'm lacking is the textbook, I have to ask our minister if he's got it as he said he would lend me any books he's got that I need.

Had a good family service at church this morning. Poor J tripped over a doorstep & fell quite heavily on his shoulder. Thankfully there was a retired doctor in the room & she said nothing was broken. He seems to be alright now but could there be a relapse on the first day of school tomorrow morning? Talking of which J remembered this morning that he has art homework to do by tomorrow - draw some Christmas decorations. Time to get nagging er I mean encouraging.

Disappointment Day

Today is disappointment day big time because:

My brother, my little niece & my Dad were meant to be coming this evening & P's brother & maybe his wife were meant to be coming this morning & they've all said they can't come because of the snow!

It's so sad not to be seeing them & we'd done a lot of food buying & present buying & tidying in preparation. At least I can have a rest from tidying now. (And little brother if you think for one second you've got away with saying your office was as untidy as our house ie 3 foot deep in clutter just think again!)

Talking about tidying there was just a horrendous scene with J last night because I'd tidied his room ... so painful I just can't write about it. But I'd asked him several times to tidy it himself & had he done it? No! And we had to fit 3 people in his room to sleep. So what was I meant to do?

The other BIG disappointment is that J's Christmas present didn't arrive today. We've emailed the seller asking if we can go & get it as it's not that far away. Otherwise he won't get it until after he goes back to school.

A New Year

Last night J & I went to Becky's New Year party. P opted not to go as he just doesn't cope well with late nights & would have to come home to put his Dad to bed at 9.30 anyway. We had a good time but I was a bit amazed as to how long the two men sitting near me managed to spend discussing the possibility of West Ham being relegated.

We did the party poppers & champagne (I only had a sip) at midnight & there we were in 2010 with all it's going to bring.

J was meant to be sleeping over but he got very tired & when Tim said he intended staying awake for another 2 hours after midnight J got in a panic & said he wanted to come home, despite Becky saying 'Tim's not staying awake for 2 hours!'

And when we came out it had snowed - just a light frosting which was so beautiful in the moonlight.

As we got home the pub nearby was blasting out 'All You Need is Love'. I had a long discussion with someone at a university party once about whether this song really is true - is love really all you need? Perhaps it depends on the type of love. Perhaps Love is all we need.

Digger wasn't left out

And Digger got a present too - a seed bar.

Pudding

This bit of a blurry picture is our Christmas pudding on fire.

More presents

And here's some of my other presents as well. My big present which isn't here cos we got it in the sales on Monday (£100 off in Jessops!) was a digital photo frame which is really fun. P's big present was a model helicopter which he's already broken but going to repair (he should be more careful with his toys). I also got him a book called 'Cycling Home from Siberia' which he says is really good. And the really, really sad thing is that thanks to ParcelForce breaking it J's big present still hasn't arrived. He's been really good about it & has done his History project (how could they have given him a project over Christmas?!) so if the new one arrives tomorrow he'll have all day to play with it.

Presents

Here it is with the beautiful brooch my niece gave me.

Hair

This is the back of my head with the hair decoration P bought me for Christmas, the tragic thing being that as soon as he'd bought it my hair became a lot shorter due to the hairdresser's interpretation of 'an inch' being somewhat different to mine.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope 2010 goes really well for you.